Day Forty-Three

     ****NAMES CHANGED TO PROTECT PORTLAND'S STREET KIDS***** 

Happy Friday the 13th!

There isn't a whole lot to do on Fridays, they tend to be down day. I threw a fit to be seen in the medical clinic for the rashes. In total this took three hours. I was given the most incompetent medical students. In the end they pretty much were like, "Dur we don't know what that is so here's some anti-itch cream." Wipee. Can I have my Friday back please?

The most exciting event was that the male-female transgender kid asked KL for a Clodine. KL sold it to her for $3. Five minutes later she says, "I can feel it working already. My heart is slowing down."

It was actually an anti-diarrhea pill.

Besides that we went to Hell to watch movies and relax. Pretty low key day, not worth boring you with the details besides the pill exchange. That was pretty awesome.

In shelter I'm talking with Flippy Hair Guy about AA and avocados when one of the more mentally unstable guys interrupts asking, "Why don't you have a boyfriend?"

I hear this more than I hear "You need to take care of yourself" and honestly, I'm at my wits end about it. It doesn't sound like a big deal but when you have to justify your life decisions twenty times a day you get pretty damn irritated. So far I tell people that all my boyfriends have mysterious disappeared, been sold on Ebay, anything I can think of. I downright bully the boys who bother me. Still, they follow me around.

"I don't want one. If I wanted one I would have one. I don't want one."

He starts crying and beating himself over the head. Flippy Hair Guy's eyes get huge. He has no clue what to do. I shrug and keep eating my yogurt while the kid flips the fuck out on everyone. I'm beyond caring about other people's emotional problems tonight.

"Would you have said the same thing to me if I asked that question?" Flippy Hair Guy asks me.
"Yes," I say, "I would have been even meaner."
"See it's nothing personal." Flippy Hair Guy says to Timmy who is still beating himself over the head.
"It's personal to me," Timmy is screaming, "You know I'm special!"

Fuck this shit. I let him scream and cry. I'm done. Staff, especially Flippy Hair Guy say I didn't do anything wrong. That I shouldn't have to justify the fact that I'm mature enough to know that dating while homeless is a bad idea. I ask Bridge Lady, one of the few Street Light staff I like so far, if I can have a no-contact order with every male in the building. She laughs then apologizes for laughing.

Sexual harassment is part of shelter life, as awful as that sounds. The girl to guy ratio is very low. And I can count the single girls on one hand. There is an expectation that you will date someone. And if I don't want to date I'm a lesbian, slut, bitch. I'm not even joking I've been told I hate men and I'm a lesbian because I don't want to date. Why does it have to be about hating anyone? Why can't it be about loving my independence?

Bridge Lady says that a lot of girls leave shelter because of this which only makes the sexual harassment more concentrated on fewer girls. When Houdini was in jail KL actually chose to sleep outside because of a guy sexual harassing her. Bridge Lady says she'll take time to think of this and talk to Director Lady about what can be done about the situation.
 
--mm