****NAMES CHANGED TO PROTECT PORTLAND'S STREET KIDS*****
I had intended to make myself look presentable but in the end I just say, fuck it and go. I grab the baggie of food I took from the kitchen and what is left of our bag of pistachios. I meet Kitten Lady outside and eat the nuts as we walk dropping the shells behind me.
Breakfast at Day Program #2 is somewhat more resembling real food today. They have pancakes, eggs and bacon. I feed the bacon to Tweak and eat the pancakes with my fingers. Tweak eat 3 slices without me even breaking them up for her. She goes after my eggs but I try to push her away. She is successful and runs off with the bit of eggs. They taste like powder so I just let her have them anyway.
We go to the library after breakfast. I'm trying to get better on my consistency on this blog. I struggle with what to say. I find it hard to believe so many people would care about my ramblings on the strange things that tend to happen to me. Sometimes I bore myself. Yet, for whatever reason people still come here and read this. I know because blogger stalks all of you and page views go up every time I log in. Not only that but I have page views from all over the world. Hi there UK and Russia and North Korea. I feel really honored that you are reading this.
While I'm working on the blog I receive a Facebook invite. It's one of those Facebook friends that you only know because they are a friend of a friend and you only see each other in groups and you'll probably never be BFF's. And seeing as I've fallen out with that group I'll probably never hang out with him again. Obviously, he has no idea I have been homeless for the past 49 days. However, he sent a mass invite to all of his Facebook friends to this rally for Cameron Whitten's 50th day without food. I'm intrigued.
I do some research and discover that Cameron Whitten was born exactly a day after me. Not only that but his protest began the same day I became a part of Portland street/shelter culture. These uncanny similarities make me feel drawn to this movement and I feel I need to get on board or at least do some more research.
I'm thirsty and we are out of funds so KL and I walk to Fred Meyer to scam them again by our little trick of buying only cookie dough and stealing other food we need. Then we get bowls from the soup section and fill them with soda from the fountain. Shortly after it's time for lunch so we walk back to Nafy who is serving some sort of inedible cardboard pizza. I'm grateful I filled up on cookie dough.
I'm still wiped out and not hungry enough to eat cardboard so I walk over to the elephant park by Nafy so I can take a nap. I lay down on my sleeping bag and read until I doze off. When I first came here I was so embarrassed that I refused to do t his. I would have rather been dead on my feet than sit on the sidewalk and have people take note of my homelessness. I've since learned there is no hiding it. Somehow people always just know. Why bother constantly moving when it people know the truth anyways? I wake up at 3pm thanks to a call from an 800 number. I'm still weary so I sit up and eat a biscuit, stretch and contemplate what to do with myself. I roll up the sleeping bag and make my way back up to the library.
Being caught up on the blog I don't know what I really should do online. I end up doing more research on the 50 day rally. The more I know the more I know I need to get involved. The similarities between myself and Cameron are too much to pass up. Here is what we have in common:
*Birthdays. I am 4/7/1991 and he is 4/8/1991.
*We both have an affiliation with First Unitarian Church
*We have both stayed in the Jaunas youth program.
*He has been hungry for 49 days. I have been homeless for 49 days.
I end my research in time for dinner so I go only because I don't think I'll make it until 9pm on just cookie dough. Dinner is semi-edible shepherd's pie. I eat it moving the ground beef to the side because it looks suspicious. I give my left overs to Roxy the puppy and head out. I get on the max and go to City Hall. I want to see what is going on and what I can personally do to be involved.
I walk down the block and fine many people sleeping on top of blankets and sleeping bags on the side walk. They are careful not to cover themselves with the blankets because this is considered "camping" and is illegal. They aren't much different from street kid camps though. The saddest sign I see says "Foreclosure + Job Loss = Homeless." It hits too close to home as my family lost our house my senior year of high school due to foreclosure. It had been in our family for 20 years before that.
I see the boy that appears to be Cameron talking off to the side with a lady. I don't like to interrupt so I walk around the block to find a bathroom. I take my time walking back to the City Hall building. A vigil has been set up out front so I stop by and read the prayers and requests people have left.
It looks like the conversation between the lady and Cameron is ending so I walk slowly in that direction reading the signs. Finally, Cameron is done with the lady but I realize I don't know what to say. I feel like a creepy stalker. There's a cat at his feet, rolling around and playing so being more inclined to deal with critters I sit on my heels to play with her to open up conversation. He says someone dumped her on him and left. Sound familiar? When asked if she has a name he says, "I call her hungry."
When I ask him what got him started he tells me about how sleeping at Occupy Portland was the first time he slept outside. He was arrested four times for the Occupy movement and ran for mayor. "The world is so messed up I figured that it was worth dying to try and change something," he tells me.
"Will you die?" I ask.
"Not very quickly."
He says the reason he picked homelessness as his cause was because of the city trying to shut down R2D2. R2D2 is a camping community for homeless people that has been around for years. Standing for "Right to Dream too" the camp tries to provide a safe place for people to sleep. Right now the city is fining them $2,000 a month in an attempt to close it down. This was the straw that broke Cameron's back and thus the protest was born.
He's skinny, obviously but looks relatively healthy. His arms both have bandages from getting blood drawn at the doctor's. They say he is doing really well for someone that hasn't eaten in 49 days. He's soft spoken, calm and rational. He smiles and laughs and jokes. This is not what I would expect from someone starved for 49 days.
"What will it take for you to eat again?" I ask.
"I don't know," he says, "I just don't know yet."
He talks about what he intends to do for day 70. Seventy days without food? I almost want to talk him out of it. I really hope tomorrow something magical happens so the kid can eat.
"Do you think they'll bring the riot police out again?" I ask referring to Occupy Portland.
"Naw," he shrugs, "There will be mayoral candidates there. Rallies don't really change anything. They just get people involved."
I nod. I still hope for magic. All those Disney movies you know?
I'm as socially awkward as Director Lady in Nafy but I'm not sure what to say so I ramble. If I were him I'd rprobably freak myself out. I can really be a creep sometimes. We swap blog information then I say my goodbyes to him and Hungry.
I find KL and Houdini at McDonalds. We are all feeling happy today. "People say they don't understand why we hang out when we have nothing in common," KL says.
"We have a lot more in common than people think." I say
Houdini and KL go outside to spange while I stay in McDonalds with my notebook. The manager comes up to me. He's pulling on his tie like he's going into an important job interview he's not quite qualified for. "You guys have to leave," he mumbles.
"What am I doing wrong?" I ask.
This time I can honestly say I'm innocent I've been engrossed in my notebook.
"You've sat here too long. Leave."
He can't even make eye contact he's so scared. "Whatever," I say and keep writing.
I don't move until I see KL walk by ten minutes later. I go outside and yell for her to come in. "I'm going to start talking shit," I warn her.
She comes in and we sit back down. The manager eyes us and sends one of his employees to tell us we need to go.
"Your manager is a pussy." I say.
KL pales. "Please don't do this," she begs.
"No," I cut her off, "What kind of a wimp waits until I'm all alone with no big black guy to kick all three of us out. And then uses his employee as back up?"
The employee girl says, "I'm just the messenger."
"Well my message is that your manager is a pussy. And he has to wait for the big black man before we leave."
The girl looks unsure of what to do. She says "okay" and slowly backs away and as if on cue Houdini reappears. We gather up our stuff and KL goes to the manager and says, "I don't know what happened but I apologize."
I talk over her, "You are a wimp. What kind of manager waits until you've got a little girl all alone to kick the big black man out? You waited until I was alone on purpose you pussy. You're a coward."
KL wants to kill me. She is right that if we're banned from here we're fucked. But she should know that once I start talking shit I can't stop. The manager looks at me dumbstruck.
"Now who looks stupid," I say as I walk out.
I wait for KL and Houdini outside on the benches outside of the Dollar Tree while they spange. I hear a loud boom coming from the fountain so I run in that direction to see what happened. Jesus put off a gigantic fire work. Multiple people have already called the police. I'm pissed. He's going to get all of us in trouble. How many times has he gotten the police called on us now?
He brags about it outside of shelter saying her burned when of the girls when he set it off. "Dumbass," i say and he tells me to shut up. I'm really sick of the police being called on us all the time because of the stupid shit he does.
In front of shelter, right under the camera, Tweak sticks her butt up in the air as she does a paw stand in KL's purse. I push her down cursing. No one was minding the camera though because KL still gets up safe and sound so I can sleep inside and in peace.
I wait for 9pm to come while downstairs people buzz up. One of the boys who helped me search for KL points to me and says, "I like her. That girl always gets her way. She's a good friend to have on your side."
I grin, "Damn straight."
Upstairs Houdini and I devour some Redvines he bought. We loooooove licorice. Ginger Kid is ranting about how shelter is "evil" but "90% of the people here don't even know it." I swear that kid is really special. The movie pick is Inspector Gadget. It won over X-Men 3 unanimously. It sends us into a 90's media nostalgia rampage. We talk along with the previews of old Disney movies we grew up with. We may be in our 20's but we remember every line. It actually raises the atmosphere quite a bit as we act like little kids talking about Saturday morning cartoons and throwing around Skittles.
Shelter has flyers up for tomorrow's rally. I wonder who if anyone will go and what will happen.
--mm
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