****NAMES CHANGED TO PROTECT PORTLAND'S STREET KIDS*****
Sorry I have been slacking on posting. I've been having some motivational issues. Everyone is fine though.
In the morning I slip out of shelter early. I feel bad because I'm intentionally avoiding everyone without explanation but I've decided to do something for myself for once. I go to Starbucks to kill time. I do a little bit of make up but I don't go too crazy about it. I wear one of my new tops and my new princess hoodie I am so in love with. I straightened my hair when I woke up but it's raining outside so you can't really tell anymore.
At 10am I make my way back up towards OI. I wear my hood and stare at the ground with ear buds in blasting music (I'm in an Emeniem mood right now). I am grateful for the rain, everyone is running hooded, staring at the ground. Half a block from OI I turn and slip into the side door of the Unitarian church.
Back in the day the Unitarian church was actually a huge part of my life. My roommate and I met there and had been very good friends until she screwed me over. Thus, a huge majority of my friends were from there and I saw them 3 or 4 times a week. We used to go to the spa, movies, everything together. Right before I left for the south, previous to becoming homeless, we had come to the conclusion that it was time for a mass exodus from the church due to some pretty messed up church politics. I was probably the core person for the leaving of the church as I was the most effected by some of the decisions being made, namely due to my age. So, now the majority of them are at the Wyeast church. Considering what happened with my roommate though I don't really consider many of them friends anymore. I've seen them in downtown a few times but have made it a point not to talk to them.
Nevertheless, I do still have a connection with the church. It was the first place I became connected and made friends when I first moved to Portland. While I don't really consider myself a Unitarian (my friends used to say that I was Unitarian until someone started to irritate me*) I still find the church to be a simple, pretty, quiet, and comforting place like it was when I first came.
I walk up the stairs and sit where I used to with the friends I used to have. I see people I know but don't particularly like (there was a kind of split amoung the young adult group when people started leaving) so I keep my head down so they don't notice me. It's kind of a weird service because it is run mostly by a sister church from Europe. It's still beautiful though. Unitarian Universalist churches put a lot of emphasis on music and literature which is why I like them. There is a lot of singing in both Hungarian and English and one of the boys with the Hungary church has the most beautiful voice.
I don't really understand the sermon that is presented though. It's something having to do with how everyone should love each other but his accent is so thick I have a hard time deciphering what he is saying. I don't really mind though. I never really got a ton out of sermons minus one that was preached by my beloved intern minister who is now working in a church an hour away. I remember the sermon because it was right when I was in the worst sickness with my ovary. It was something about being thankful for every day's little miracles. But, I digress. I still like sermons even if I tune them out because they make me sit there quietly for twenty minutes (unlike Pentecostal services I grew up with that last 2 hours). I crochet while I listen to them but before you think I'm rude several old ladies knit too.
After the service I go to the library for an hour where Timmy, the boy who got mad I wouldn't date him, follows me around mercilessly. I am officially getting creep-ed out. After the library I go to OI where Kitten Lady is sitting there waiting for me.
"Where have you been all day?" she asks.
I shrug, "Starbucks and the library."
She tells me that one of the other street kids confirmed that a group of tweakers had her kitten. The boy who had been supposed to keep hold of the kitten had traded her for a bag of Meth. The kitten was in possession of a girl named Tweaker Nancy. She is a well known pain in the ass really.
We sat outside after we ate and talked for fifteen minutes about our plan to get the cat back. We figured with the three of us it wouldn't be too terrible and we were more than willing to pull out the pepper spray and try it out if we needed to. When we get up to go find Tweaker Nancy we find she has been sitting next to us the entire time. The three of us confront her and confirm that she does in fact have the cat with her.
I run and bolt up the stairs to try and find Beard Man or Mother Goose who already know what is going on. I can't find them. I run back down the stairs to see how thing have progressed. Houdini and KL have Tweaker Nancy cornered against the gate. I quickly run up from behind her and grab the kitten by the scruff of her neck and pull her out of the mess. Tweaker Nancy is squeezing so hard I have to let go of the cat once to keep her from being crushed. When I do finally get her out after being bit I run up the stairs again and find Mother Goose as Tweaker Nancy tries to follow me.
Mother Goose and Beard Man come down to break up the fight but not before KL slams Tweaker Nancy with a hard fist to her face. Tweaker Nancy stumbles back and I grab KL by the arm and pull her away saying, "We have her, she's safe now. Let it go."
We spend the rest of the day aimlessly wandering from place to place. Out of food stamps we are starving. It's my first time being homeless and hungry. At dinner we go back to OI so we can be seen in the clinic. The doctor says my arm is an allergic reaction and prescribes Bendryal. I go upstairs to talk to Beard Man about my concerns with being sexually harassed and KL.
When I say I want to talk about KL his tone changes. He lacks any form of empathy or concern for her. No one even cares about how hard she is trying. And to be frank it's pissing me off.
"I can't make her come talk to me." Beard Man says.
"I'm not saying force her to talk to you; I'm asking you to have compassion when she does."
"This conversation is over." Beard Man kicks me out of his office. I am furious and disgusted.
I go to leave and Mother Goose pulls me aside saying there will probably be exclusions for the kitten incident.
"I tried to find help." I say indignant.
"You guys took it into your own hands." She says.
"Because we couldn't find you."
What a bitch.
In shelter Timmy comes up demanding to know why I ignored him at the library.
"I need some space," I explain, "Please respect the fact that I need space."
He starts screaming and yelling again. I'm at a loss at what to do on this one so I fly down the stairs to find Director Lady who is in Porch Light. KL is sitting in the red chairs. "Get Director Lady," I yell, "Get her now. It's a safety issue."
I stay on the landing by the red chairs until she does come out. When she does I explain the past few days with Timmy. She goes up to talk to him and give us a no contact order. She tells me I can stay down until he calms down.
Flippy Hair Guy comes down and sees me sitting there. He asks if it is because of Timmy. He sits and chit chats with me for a good hour. We discuss the sexual harassment, my irritation at being homeless and finally KL. I tell him everything that has been going on and the way she is treated. The way people bang on the door when she's in the bathroom telling her to stop getting high; how staff tells her she's a junkie but she is really and truly trying to beat this. I find Flippy Hair Guy to be the perfect person to talk to about this, not because it's his job to help with drug and alcohol problems (his whole job revolves around hanging out with the addicts) but because he is also the only staff who doesn't already have opinions about her.
He reassures me that I'm doing everything the best that I can and that I'm right in trying not to preach to her about drug use or her relapsing. It's a good talk and he promises to try and keep an eye on her too and find resources for her. I actually feel a huge amount of relief after our talk. I go upstairs and eat a big bowl of yogurt before going down to do dishes and escape with the radio blasting. I put on the gloves and have an epiphany. The gloves go exactly the same length as the rash on my arms. I itch the moment they touch my skin. It's doing dishes that is causing the rash.
I'm actually really excited about this which is kind of pathetic. So I do the dishes without the gloves which keeps me busy until 1am when I take a shower and pass out for the night.
--mm
*Unitarian values have little to do with a supernatural being but instead revolve around how you treat fellow human beings. Thus, the joke with my friends that I was Unitarian until I found the person annoying because I'm really tolerant until I decide I don't like you. Then I can be a downright bully.
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