Day Forty-Six

    ****NAMES CHANGED TO PROTECT PORTLAND'S STREET KIDS*****

In the morning Kitten Lady and Houdini need to meet up with someone to get some stuff. KL is pretty sick from the Methadone withdrawal. I go with because really, what else am I going to do? As we're walking to catch the max KL asks me, "Does this stuff change your opinion of me."

"No," I say and I mean it.

On the max Tweak, the kitten, walks up my boob and licks my lip once before lying down on the boobs to sleep. This kiss is the sweetest thank you from saving her from the tweakers. I pet her and say, "I like you, you can stay now."

Still, I hope KL and Tweak stop getting kidnapped by tweakers. KL and I agree I better not get kidnapped by tweakers. I'd end up running my mouth so much they'd either kill me or let me go but most likely kill me. So, it's probably best I stay un-kidnapped.

Once we're done with our morning errand we go to McDonalds. We are all hungry from missing breakfast and McDonalds is all we can afford without food stamps. After we eat we go to Fred Meyer to get my prescriptions. KL ends up getting Captain Crunch and of course we can't go to Fred Meyer and not get cookie dough. For the past few days we have both been ravenous for no reason. Nothing has been satisfying us. We are just hungry nonstop.

I go to #1 because I need to meet with my case manager. KL goes to #2 to find Houdini. Mother Goose pulls me aside and tells me that KL and I are both banned from OI until Thursday.

Now, to be fair this is a relatively short ban for what falls under "physical violence". But, I did not lay a finger on Tweaker Nancy or anyone else for that matter besides the cat which I grabbed to save from being crushed. Also, Tweaker Nancy should be banned for stealing the cat in the first place and for kicking Houdini and biting me. Also, KL should be told by staff, not have staff using me to be the messenger.

This turns into an explosion between Mother Goose and I. I make a comment about how staff bully KL and Mother Goose says, "I would love to have that conversation with you."
"I tried to have that conversation with Beard Man," I say, "And you guys slammed the door in my face."

So Mother Goose and I start to get into it about KL. At first it's pretty calm like my talk with Beard Man but then it just gets loud. Beard Man pokes his head out to look at us and laughs in my face about this whole exchange. Disgusted, I have nothing left to do but turn on my heel and leave. By this point I'm having a panic attack so I run to find a pigeon fountain and throw two Clodidine down my throat.

I go back to OI at 2pm because I'm supposed to meet with my case manager. I tell her I don't want to be at OI anymore because I'm sick of watching KL being bullied. Once again this becomes a big ordeal when Mother Goose butts her nose in saying that KL is a problem child and the same whole saga about how she breaks the rules.

In the end I tell Mother Goose she is a pathetic human being for bullying KL the way she does. What kind of adult feels the need to bully an 18 year old homeless girl? I then leave to find KL sleeping at #2. I hold the kitten to mellow myself out. I tell KL what I told Mother Goose and she laughs. A staff from #2 pulls me into his office to ask what's going on with everything. Turns out all agencies got an email with my name saying that I was involved in "physical violence" against Tweaker Nancy. Considering the fact I tried to find help I'm not too happy about this. But, in the end the staff guy actually seems alright and apologizes for the way OI has treated us when I rant about it (I'm very good at ranting in case you couldn't tell) and says KL and I are always welcome at #2. I find this ironic seeing as KL isn't supposed to be there at all with the no-contact order between her and Houdini. Gotta love getting new staff.

I still don't like the atmosphere in #2 (never have) so we go to the water front. Neither of us have sat with a sign asking for money before so we decide to try it for once. We make a sign and sit at water front holding it up with my laptop (genius I tell you, genius). We don't make a dime even after we cover the laptop. But, most of the people are running by as this is where people jog. No one really stops to read it. We only sit there for 10 minutes as it's time for dinner so we walk all the way back up to #2 realizing that leaving that close to dinner was a stupid idea.

Dinner there is no where near edible. It's soggy french fries with some sort of meat and cheese and left overs thrown in. Even though I'm starving I'm not hungry enough to eat that. I sleep on the couch until it is time to leave. We don't know what to do with ourselves, not even KL can bring herself to eat it. We go to McDonalds to eat again. I end up passing out on the McDonald's table. The manager comes to yell at me several times but I fake that I haven't been sleeping, just leaning on my arm.

We leave because the manager won't leave me alone and I'm too tired to keep my eye lids open. I lay down outside on the sidewalk by the Dollar Tree instead. Again, I fall asleep on the cement. In shelter I opp for a morning chore so I can just go to bed but the Ginger kid and his girlfriend talk me into a few rounds of Spoons and Rummy. Ginger tells me about how he shares a room with Nerdboy Wonder. He says Nerdboy will get up at 3am and organize his locker, making all kinds of noise. He refuses to shower or use deodorant. Finally, Ginger finally had to complain to Director Lady when Nerdboy start a collection of dirty yellow ear plugs at the side of his bed. Ginger Kid says they even smell and so far Nerdboy has a collection of about 20 of them.

Ginger Girlfriend Kid tells me in the dorm that she's pregnant. I'm not sure if I believe her but she doesn't seem like a lying type. She's just boring. So, I think that she must at least think she is pregnant. I don't particularly care. I climb into bed by the foot of the bed where my blanket is folded. I fall asleep there at the foot of my bed, too tired to even properly get into bed.

--mm