Day Fifty

    ****NAMES CHANGED TO PROTECT PORTLAND'S STREET KIDS*****

At 12am Tweak's tail flicks. A flick and another flick and she's up watching it. She goes to catch it, almost gets it but it flicks away. Soon she's running in a circle chasing her tail until she becomes dizzy and falls off the bunk bed. Thunk. Oops.

She decides it must be time to adventure out. She walks throughout shelter seeing all the wonderful and exciting things she doesn't get to see when she is locked inside the evil backpack. She wanders into the common area and finds a big black couch that looks good for climbing. She tries to pull herself up, falls, tries again. Eventually she pulls herself up the slick back couch.

She explores the couch until she sees the damn tail again and starts chasing after it. After an hour of chasing the evil tail she notices a big bald head next to her. Oh shit. She does not appreciate being caught in the act of being a cute criminal. The big head laughs and angry at giving him the satisfaction of seeing her cute criminal act Tweak jumps down and runs away.

She hides so the big bald head can't find her again. He goes into the dorm and looks under the beds until he wakes Tweak's Mama up.

“What the hell are you doing?” She asks him.

“I can't find your cat.”

“I don't have a cat.”

“Yes, you do. I can't find her. I won't kick you out tonight just help me find her.”

Tweak is found by her Mama. Crap. She was having a blast being criminal. Mama sets Tweak on the bed. Mama goes off to go talk to the bald headed guy.

“I let her run around for like an hour because she was chasing her tail on the couch. She stopped because I started watching her but it was really cute.”

“It is really cute isn't it?” Mama asks the bald headed guy.

“Yeah. I'm really sorry you have to get in trouble for this but it'll be a week or more this time. I'm really sorry that was really cute.”

Tweak doesn't like this so she starts to scream. “RAWR. RAWR.” She's so loud she wakes the girl across from Mama up.

“She sounds like a dying child.” The bald head says.

Mama comes and picks up Tweak and calls her a dumbass before going back to bed.

Tweak sleeping on her mama's neck.

--

In the morning I see four police officers frisking one of our boys at the max stop. They surround him in a circle as if they need to keep him trapped between them. He is simply sitting there, not fighting, nothing. As far as I know he is a mellow guy. I don't even know his name but I have never seen him involved in any drama at all. I find it hard to believe four police officers to frisk him is necessary.

One of the new girls downstairs crosses the street and the cops start screaming at her. All four of them demand she goes over by them. For crossing the street. She hardly looks threatening. If I hadn't watched her come out of shelter I would have guessed she was a student not homeless. I don't wait to see what they are screaming at her for. I turn on my heel and quickly walk the other way before they notice me.

Most of the day is spent with Kitten Lady and Houdini trying to make money by selling books and clothes we got from Day Services #2. I don't even feel scandalous doing it anymore; we need the money. Karma bites us in the ass though because we make a grand total of $2.

In the afternoon I separate from KL and Houdini to go to the rally for Cameron Whitten's 50^th day of hunger striking. I'm nervous about this whole deal. Seeing as First Church's minister Kate Lore will be there to speak people I know may show up. If not there will surely be homeless people I know there. I don't want to be outed. It sounds so terrible but I still don't want people to know I'm homeless nor do I want the other homeless kids to think I think I'm some sort of activist or something. I have enough targets on my back as is.

I feel awkward approaching because to my relief and my un-relief I see no one I know outside of Cameron and Hungry. I stand awkwardly not sure what to do with myself. Cameron is surrounded by journalists. I'm so happy my old newspaper is not covering this one. Yet, I'm unhappy because if I was still a journalist I would write the shit out of that story. I find Hungry running to hide under Cameron's chair and call her to me. She comes and I pet her.

“How are you?” I ask Cameron, “Hungry looks good.”

“I can't complain.” he answers and smiles.

Can't complain? Fifty days without food and not a single complaint? Hungry gets as much attention as she desires from all the spectators and protesters then burrows herself under Cameron's chair. We get up and walk over to the park where the rally will be held. Compared to movements like Occupy it's a small crowd but when you consider who this protest is for, the invisible people of society, it's a good turn out. People hold banners from different organizations that work with the homeless community. Others hold handmade signs that say things such as:

Right to sit, lie, shelter.

How would you look if you had to carry your belongings and everything you own with you everyday?

We have a right to live.

Sleep is a human right.

Sleep is necessary for survival, physical and mental health.

I take a seat on a step and play with my tangle a good friend sent me. I wait for things to get started people watching. Pretty much everyone in the crowd is homeless. There are a few outside supporters but very few. I'm saddened by this. We need the community's support. Yet, everyone in the crowd seems to be there for a genuine reason, not just drunks and hippies showing up to fight just to fight. There is one drunk who at some point steals the microphone but for a rally for the homeless population it's pleasantly sober.

I worried that the messages would be unrealistic and demanding. One of the speaker is as he demands the crowd to start “taking” empty houses on their own. Kate Lore's face when he speaks is a mixture of confusion, disagreement and trying very hard to keep her opinions to herself. She's never been my favorite speaker. Mostly because she has really awkward pauses when she preaches, can't pronounce the word “us” and she clicks her tongue after every sentence which is one of my biggest pet peeves. Most of the speakers aren't really public speakers in the first place though and Lore's talk is actually very good when you look past the pronunciation of the word “uz”.

“People say that a hunger strike is irrational. To that I say yes it is but it is absolutely necessary. Is it rational to ask people to live without sleep? Is it rational to tell people they cannot protect themselves from rain? Is it rational to kick people out of their homes? Is it rational to sweep people out from under the bridges and leave them without anywhere to go? Is it rational to leave people without bathrooms?”

Obviously, none of this is rational. The requests being made are so simplistic it makes little sense to me that the city will not listen to them. Even more concerning is that many of them are just basic constitutional rights. I know the majority of you live outside of Portland so I'll explain the laws and reasoning behind each request:

1. The right to property as protected by the Constitution. Currently, it is the law in Portland that you may not have your property next to you on the sidewalk for more than two hours. They offer no other place for homeless people to store their belongings so they have essentially outlawed all the belongings of homeless people in the area. Obviously, this isn't something I blog about as I don't run into this issue as shelter and day services both provide lockers but adults are not so lucky. For this they brought out a shelf and a collection of green bins. They said they are hijacking a parking spot in the area and staying there to store people's belongings and create a self-monitored safe place to keep belongings so people won't have to carry them all day or get in trouble with the police for having them.
2. The right to “camp”. Camping is sort of a loose term in Portland. If you cover yourself with a blanket anywhere in the city it is considered “camping”. Any sort of tarp, sleeping bag or blanket you use to cover yourself is considered camping supplies. Camping is banned within the city. This means it is illegal for homeless people to sleep with any sort of cover whatsoever. This is something I've briefly mentioned before. It affects me when I'm sleeping outside or when I am not feeling well and want to nap. I find it hard to sleep without even a sheet covering me and it's such a petty, discriminating law.
3. The right to sleep and to sleep together in groups. Basically, what this boils down to is the right to safe sleep. This relates to R2D2 which I will get to in a minute. Right now just about anywhere safe you can sleep the police can/will come and wake you up and tell you to leave. Police are forcing people to sleep in the shadows where they cannot be seen. This forces unsafe sleeping conditions and puts people more at risk for rape, theft, murder, etc. The speakers requested the ability for people to sleep together in the light where they will be safer as a self regulated community.
4. To stop the fines on R2D2. R2D2 stands for 'Right to Dream too'. It is a tent community in an empty lot in the city. There are beautifully painted doors that create a wall between the tents and the pedestrians to give people privacy. It is a self regulated, safe place to sleep. I have never stayed there myself but I have always known of it and respected it. Right now the city is fining them $2000 a month in an attempt to shut it down. I haven't fully researched this issue yet but the request is that the city lets it continue to function as it has for years. It has been there for as long as I've lived in Portland, so at least three years and many look to it as a safe place to sleep as a community and look out for one another.
5. The right to erect structures. This one sounds a bit more complex than it actually is. Right now it is unlawful to “erect a structure” in the city. On the surface that sounds like a reasonable request. However, a “structure” counts as hanging a tarp over your belongings or over a shopping cart or bench or box or anything to protect yourself from the rain. You cannot make anything to protect yourself from the elements in Portland. One guy that spoke said he has to go to a court date for putting a tarp over two boxes to keep himself dry. They aren't talking about building sky scrapers or taking over with “structures”. They just want to have the ability to keep themselves dry in a city that always rains.
6. No separate courts. I'm not sure on this one as I hadn't heard about it before and I haven't had time to research it. However, from my limited understanding there was a proposal to set up a separate court for homeless people. I believe the idea was to pick a day for all the homeless people who have to go to court. Obviously, if this was talked about or done that's blatant segregation which is definitely illegal thanks to Dr. Martin Luther King. Like I said I don't know anything about that but I do intend to do further research on the subject.
7. To have more public bathrooms so people will no longer be forced to pee on the streets. This is something I've never noticed before but there is an extreme lack of public bathrooms of Portland. It really is a problem that I've run into many times. I remember in the tenth grade my Biology teacher had told the class that we were fortunate enough to live in a country that is so rich we would never have to poop on the side of the road. He told us how in third world countries there aren't enough sanitary bathrooms so people are stuck having to poop on the side of the road but that never happens in America. He was a good Biology teacher (an excellent one in fact. He was one of my best mentors to date.) but he was very wrong on this subject. While I personally have been fortunate enough to not run into this issue I have seen it happen. KL had to poop in a cup and throw it out when we slept on the roof of the church a few weeks ago because there was no public bathroom close enough. (It would have been a twenty minute walk to get to any bathroom and she was sick from Methadone withdrawals.) She has told me that she has had to poop outside on other occasions as well. It seems absolutely ridiculous that this is happening when it not necessary to have such a lack of bathrooms. The number one argument I hear against putting up more bathrooms is that homeless people will use them and possibly get high in them. So, the only other solution is to make them poop on the street? I find it hard to believe there is no middle ground.
8. The right to use the resources of private businesses to sustain oneself. This of course relates to the lack of public bathrooms but it also means being able to access places to sit, to rest and for water. I'm iffy on this one. I believe that private businesses should be so kind as to be helpful in these matters when they can be. I think all people should do those things. My fear is that requiring businesses to do so affects their rights and their ability to run a profitable business. Not all homeless people are clean and respectable. Many are disruptive, drunk, nasty. If businesses no longer have the right to refuse service to anyone how do they handle the homeless people, or any customer for that manner that is negatively affecting the business. Also, people falling asleep in the middle of a private business can reflect badly on the company. Even I have done this many times when I have been much too drained. So while I think this is an excellent idea I think it needs to be more thought out so that both groups have their rights respected.
9. To move people into empty houses. For every homeless person there are roughly 22-24 vacant houses. Homes that have been foreclosed on tend to sit and rot. It only makes sense to start putting people into the homes instead of letting them just sit there. Once again I agree with this but it needs more thought behind it. I don't think the city has the ability to just give out houses. I know nothing about selling houses or foreclosure so I'm not even going to pretend I know what I'm talking about but I do think we should start doing something with empty houses. I think there should be some requirements to get into those houses just like transitional housing in Jaunas Youth requires “Productive Time”. It doesn't make sense to have them just sitting there so they should be used in some manner but I doubt they can just be given out like candy.
10. So, this is another thing I had no idea existed before and need to research. One of the speakers said that there is a law that has passed or is proposed to the state of Oregon to prevent police brutality. It has not gone into effect in Portland because the top police officer people (once again need to research) keep stopping it. The law states that if a police officer is beating/using dangerous or deadly force against someone who is restrained or otherwise not fighting the other officers on the scene are to arrest the perpetrating officer immediately. From my limited understanding on this one I am all for it.
11. The right to live. This one may sound dramatic but it comes from an honest place. The discriminatory laws in Portland make it impossible to legally sleep, protect oneself and thrive. We just want to sleep and live in peace.

There was talk of undercover cops at the rally. There were three officers in attendance. To them a Muslim speaker said, “There's a reason Muslims don't eat pork.” People cheered. People had brought bicycles to be part of the bicycle swarm should it become necessary. The idea was to prevent the police brutality we experienced at Occupy Portland the bikers would ride around the protesters to act as a moving barrier between police officers and the citizens should it become necessary. Genius huh?

There was no brutality however. Everything was peaceful besides a mayoral candidate almost getting booed off the microphone. They advertised having a sleep over at city hall that night. I helped the kids who came from the video internship being run by the Guerrilla Theater program carry their belongings. They interviewed Cameron for the tape. As we waited for him a woman pulled him aside to talk to him on the steps. They looked like they were praying and Cameron was crying. It was actually a rather beautiful moment and I was jealous of the journalist who snapped a picture of that moment. I miss my journalism.

After the rally I went to find KL. I had already decided I was sleeping outside with her but decided to see if she'd be willing to go down to City Hall with me so we could see what was going on with the sleepover. She agreed to it though she wasn't thrilled with the idea.

When we passed my sleeping spot we found two police officers standing guard there. One of which has arrested KL before. She grabbed my elbow and dragged me the wrong direction down a one way. We both thought they were standing guard because of our escapade up there before but I noticed a bunch of film equipment they were watching. Gotta love summer. Tourist and movie filming season. Just another thing to take up the safe places we try to sleep in.

We get to City Hall and find a tiny white lady screaming in the face of a huge, homeless black guy. I want to just walk past by KL doesn't. She tries to butt in but people scream over top of her. I don't have a fucking clue what she is trying to do so I pull on her arm trying to get her to leave it alone. The lady runs and gets into a taxi cab but the homeless people continue yelling.

“I was trying to help you guys out.” She yells at them, “If you would have just shut up. I was on your side.”

This creates a screaming match of epic proportions. We are followed and eventually surrounded by men. I do not like this one bit. Some guy asks me how old we are so I tell him we are 18 and 21. “How old are you really?”

“18 and 21.”

“I've worked in a bar for many years. There's no way you are 21.”

“Wanna bet? I'm a day older than Cameron you dumbass.” I'm nervous about how many people are crowding us. KL holds the pepper spray. I yank out my ID and show it to him. I don't even understand what our ages have to do with this. The guy looks at the ID and inspects it. He can't even say anything he looks so stupid and hands it back to me.

“Stop crowding around us.” I scream, “You need to back the fuck up. I do not like being crowded like this. Some guy keeps following us until I threaten to pepper spray him if he doesn't back the fuck up.

I tell KL I want to walk back around and just say hi to Cameron and explain why we aren't staying. KL doesn't want me to tell him why we are leaving. “You don't always have to prove a point.” She says.

“Yes I do.”

“Fine, give me the blankets then. I'm not going to go over there. You shouldn't tell him what happened. Just say hello and goodbye. Otherwise I'm going.”

“Fine. Here you go. Where do you want to meet?”

Her mouth drops open and she just stands there. I walk off to talk to Cameron. I shake his hand and say, “We came out to try and show our support but the moment we came down here we got attacked so we aren't staying but know we are with you.”

Then I leave.

KL tells me she thought I would have listened to her when she refused to go with.

“What were you smoking?”

“I don't know. I have no idea why I thought that. I should have gone. That's not safe to have you go by yourself. I'm sorry.”

“It was just two seconds. You didn't go anywhere.” I say. I knew she wouldn't leave me like that.

We go and wait for the max to take us to KL's sleeping spot since mine is unattainable. Some guy starts talking to us overly enthusiastically. He is giving both of us the creeps as he's asking our ages in a way that suggest are you legal?. He is talking about his drug use and other variations of things inappropriate to say to someone young enough to be your child.

We finally seem to lose him and make our way to KL's sleeping spot. We lay the blankets down and get things together for us to sleep. The portable toilets are locked so when I need to change my pad I have to wrap a blanket around my waist to change. I go to the dumpster to throw it out and KL yells, “Don't talk to anyone.” I'm already talking to a group that sleep by the dumpster. “Oops.”

We eat snacks and joke around. KL asks me about the blog. She asks if I talk about her shooting up or the naughtier things I partake in when I hang out with her. I tell her yes. She gets upset about this as she doesn't want people to know. I explain I change her name and that no one judges her for it. I tell her the friend that sent her a letter and money knew and still sent her the letter. I tell her my friend Bunny has a care package for her and she knows.

“They know and they still send stuff?” she asks me.

“Yeah.” I say.

“Why?”

I shrug, “I don't know. They just don't care. We all have our fucked up shit too.”

This is a new thing for her. She cannot believe that people will still care even when they know she isn't perfect. I think she believes she is defined by her addiction. Yet, when I think about her the heroin is the last thing I think about. I tell her she can read the blog and I'll pull down anything she wants gone. She reads some from my phone but so far has not asked me to take anything down but did call to my attention that now that there is more readership I should make the places we go more obscure. She's right in this so I have a lot of editing to do here in the near future.

We go to sleep after filling up on candy and what not. I'm cold but we both fall asleep. At about midnight we are woken up by tweakers. KL knows them and they start taunting her saying that Houdini beats her, drowned her cat, all kinds of nonsense trying to start trouble. They jump from table to table over us. The guy says it would be funny if he jumped down and smashed KL's face. She wants to fight back but I whisper for her not to. There is no way we could win a fight verses a bunch of tweakers.

Eventually they leave so we can go back to sleep but it sincerely feels like the longest hour of my life when they were bothering us. I don't know what I would have done had they kept on or wanted to fight. We did not have the upper hand on that one. We continue to get woken up many times throughout the night making for a very bad day.

--mm