In the morning I walk with KL and Houdini to day program #2. The food there sucks as usual so I ditch them to go to #1 and get some real food. After breakfast I go to the library to get stuff done until KL comes and finds me. We go back to #1 because we need to get some things taken care of. We ask my case manager, Beatles Lady but she is of no help and really doesn't try to be helpful.
To my surprise KL is the one who argues with her. I stand back and let her go and she fights Beatles Lady in the same fashion I normally do. I'm impressed and tell her I'm rubbing off on her. I'm really proud she's starting to stick up for herself. We go to spange after this but I accidentally lose KL at Pioneer Square. My best bet to find her is to go to dinner I think so I start heading in that direction.
As I'm about to cross one of the corners to get to #1 I see someone who looks like a dear friend to me. We both squint at each other and realize at the same time it's each other. We scream and hug one another in the middle of the street. I haven't seen her since May. She has no idea about my situation and I look like shit but I don't care. I miss her. We were coworkers on the newspaper I used to work for and she was one of the few people who kept me sane while I was there.
Since then she's started taking off with her own photo business. She was supposed to move to San Franscico but was in a bike accident and broke her hand. They had to pin it back together. Thankfully it was her left hand but even so as a photographer that's a bad deal. She's doing better now though and will get 90% of the movement in her hand back. She unfortunately can't move to San Francisco now because she now has thousands and thousands of dollars in medical debt. "Obama better get on that," I joke.
We go to Starbucks so I can work on the blog and she can work on photo editing. She shows me the photos she took of a mutual friend's wedding. I swoon over pictures of their baby who is now walking and talking but came into the newspaper lab tiny and precious at three days old. I love that baby so much. When I held him for the first time I felt my heart melt. At the time I was battling doctors who were telling me I might not ever be able to have children. He was so tiny and perfect; I nannyed for many years but this is the first time I ever held a baby that small and felt such a deep connection. (I normally prefer kids about five years old.)
Talking about being on the newspaper together and all our old memories is painful and exciting at the same time. I miss it so much. I feel awkward as I come clean about staying in a shelter. She asks if it's a stable place to stay and I tell her it's alright, I'm safe and it's really not that bad.
Leland and myself. Oh and that person sticking
out her tongue in the background is my photo friend.
Talking about being on the newspaper together and all our old memories is painful and exciting at the same time. I miss it so much. I feel awkward as I come clean about staying in a shelter. She asks if it's a stable place to stay and I tell her it's alright, I'm safe and it's really not that bad.
It's motivating too. These glimpses of life outside of the streets remind me that I had a "before" and someday I will have an "after". There is a life outside of being a street kid.
When it's time to say goodbye I'm starving because I missed dinner to hang out with her. Someone reminds me street church is open so I run there to get some food. They have Little Ceasar's pizza and root beer floats. It's a good day to be hungry in Portland. After I stuff my face I resume my hunt for KL and start heading into shelter. I bump into one of the newer girls and end up talking and smoking cigarettes with her.
She tells me her story. She is one of the many who aged out of foster care. She was trying to make it work but just couldn't. She doesn't do drugs or anything scandalous. She's easier for me to relate to than a lot of the other kids. We walk together to shelter and meet up with KL at McDonalds. I explain to KL why I didn't find her at dinner and she understands. I'm so happy I reunited with my Photo Friend as hard as it is.
I'm struggling though as I enter shelter. I miss everyone. I miss my life. I'm not sure what to do with myself. I take my sleeping pill early and try to sleep though I dream of comma splices and headlines.
--mm
I'm struggling though as I enter shelter. I miss everyone. I miss my life. I'm not sure what to do with myself. I take my sleeping pill early and try to sleep though I dream of comma splices and headlines.
--mm
No comments:
Post a Comment