Day Eighty-Two

   ****NAMES CHANGED TO PROTECT PORTLAND'S STREET KIDS****

It's yet another day devoted to baby. This time KL and I have pre-planned to go to 82nd and boost from all the stores that don't really know us. Our first stop is for the cats. At the pet store KL steals three outfits for Tweak and I grab some cat nip and a new collar for Spencer. We act like we are going to buy a dish at the register but I swipe my empty visa gift card and fake surprise when it is declined. We say we'll come back when we find our other debit card then go to the baby store.

I've never stolen clothes before so KL instructs me to rip the tags off and hide them in other sets of clothing. Then we slide them behind her back in the wheel chair. KL picks out a really gangster jacket for the new baby and I grab a bunch of adorable onesies. We talk loudly about the store not having what we want and needing to go to Walmart then we leave.

At Walmart we get baby shower supplies. My backpack is falling apart so I get some cute white duct tape with mustaches on it in hope that this will make my backpack last a little longer until I can get a new one. Coldstones is right by Walmart and I can't resist it so I buy us each an ice cream that we eat on the way to the bus stop.

When we get back to downtown I go right to day program #2 to pick up the prizes they are donating for the baby shower. KL needs to go to #1 so she can talk to Beard Man, otherwise she will be unable to sleep in shelter. She decides not to go so she can get a bag of heroin instead. I understand that she has an addiction and she will be dope sick if she doesn't get it but I feel like she is being irresponsible and making a conscious decision to sleep outside. I don't have time to feel bad for her.

I go up to shelter early to serve food. I boss Director Lady around to get things ready for me to paper mache Pregnant Lady's belly. When PL gets upstairs I instruct her to put on a thin tank top. We go to house meeting that takes forever with arguments about making peanut butter and jelly. I announce the baby shower and people show an interest in it which makes me hopeful.

PL and I go straight to arts and crafts when all this is over. I take the big roll of saran wrap and walk in circles around her. Director Lady supervises and laughs at us. I plaster layer after layer on her belly, ensuring the newspaper strips overlap. Douche Man yells at us for making too much noise more than once. He is clearly pissed that Director Lady gave us permission to do this project. Every time he comes in yelling at PL, Gold and I for making too much noise or dropping the flour and water mix on the floor I refer him to Director Lady.

In the end Director Lady moves us down to the kitchen where I hold a blow dryer against PL. We are sitting under the camera and when I have to hold the dryer to her crotch we can't help but laugh at what this must look like on camera. It takes three or four attempts to get the thing off of her and even when w do it's till much too wet to really be removed. We are just too tired to keep going.

I slide it onto a large bowl in the kitchen. Then I ask Bitch Lady to help me store it in the storage room so it can dry. She laughs and says she is impressed that I'm doing something like this in shelter. I shrug, "I like doing this kind of thing."

Douche Man yells at me for the flour on the floor in the shower area and insists I clean it on my knees in the dark. (The light must be off after 11pm). I do so without complaint then shower to get the sticky substance off of myself. I fall into bed and try to sleep, happy that the baby shower is almost finished.

--mm