****NAMES CHANGED TO PROTECT PORTLAND'S STREET KIDS****
At Whole Foods the wifi is irritatingly slow so I relocate to the upscale Starbucks two blocks away. When I sit down at a small table behind a rich white customer who can afford to waste $6 on a latte that tastes like dirt she asks me, "Is that necessary?"
"Is what necessary? Me sitting down?"
The woman scoffs and starts to pick up her belongings.
"What's your problem lady?" I ask.
"I don't want to sit by you."
Maybe it's just that I look young. Maybe she disliked my brand of laptop. Or maybe she smelled the homeless on me. (I promise I showered last night!) I don't know what her problem is but I don't understand why people feel the need to be so mean. All I did was sit down.
While I sit online I watch everyone else drinking their mochas and I get hit with a craving. I want one bad. I try to fight it. Every time I give in and buy Starbucks coffee I regret it. I can never finish them they are so nasty. But, in the end I give in and once again regret it. I feel guilty. I cannot be wasting money like that. When #1 opens I go and eat breakfast but I quickly find I need a change of scenery before I lose my mind. I call Savior Man and see what's going on at his place.
A fight almost breaks out when some guy wigs out on Houdini. I don't get involved, just sit eating my oatmeal and watching. I look at Beard Man, "Sometimes I think this place is a social experiment." I say.
"Me too. That's probably not good." He responds and we laugh.
I'm currently in limbo with case management. Beatles Lady and I were just not working out. I don't work so great with other females. The boss of all the case managers told me that she and Bernard wanted to meet with me on Monday. Bernard is the case manager who took us shopping for clothes and the one I requested to be my manager. I imagine that this meeting would be to inform me that they've decided to put me with Bernard but being me I'm always looking for solid confirmation. Since neither she nor Bernard are working today I ask Beard Man, "Who is my go to person right now? I have no idea anymore."
"Bernard is going to be."
"Oh, cool. He's not here so can I get some bus passes to get to my friend's house from you?"
"Sure."
I leave to go to Savior Man's house shortly after. I lounge around the apartment hanging out with Spencer and allowing Savior Man to feed me (duck pasta. Omg! So good!). I smoke some of his cigarettes and some of his weed. When his roommate accidentally walks out in his boxers Savior Man calls out, "Oh yeah, M is here," as his roommate flees back into his bedroom.
It's heaven being out of the city for awhile. Having Spencer to visit with, laying on a comfortable couch and a fluffy, real bed. I feel human again. Savior Man will soon be starting back at school and back on the newspaper we used to work at. We talk at length about it and I get a splendid idea.
I've really been wanting to get back into self defense and martial arts classes for reasons that are probably obvious. I used to take them at our college and built up an excellent rapport with the instructor. Anytime I needed a quote about the sports department for the paper I'd ask him and he'd give me some bullshit so I could pull a story out of my ass. I think if I asked him he'd let me participate in his classes again without signing up for them and paying out of pocket. It'd be a commute but I could make it work if Bernard helped me out with bus passes. I will have to go by the school and figure that out when it starts back up in a few weeks.
When it gets to be 8pm I drag myself to leave despite the fact that I really, really don't want to. I take the max back to shelter where I make it just in time to tell Kitten Lady goodnight before she goes upstairs. I buy myself an ice cream cone and eat it with Houdini while we wait for our turn to go up.
I have to wash my liens tonight so I decide to paint my nails while I wait for them. I got some funky new colors via a five-finger discount. A group of guys complain about the smell of polish.
"It smells like ugh." one of the guys grunts at me.
"You smell like that every night and you don't hear me complaining." I retort.
He makes a face and stutters.
"M wins biggest shit talker tonight!" someone cheers.
I stick my tongue out and the guys stick their tongues out back.
Meanwhile, Nerdboy finds a chimichanga he misplaced in the freezer and is so excited about it he runs up and down the hallways of the shelter with his arms in the air screaming. When he cooks it he puts it in the microwave too long and it explodes.
Gold straightens Pregnant Roommate's hair and they talk about having kids. Gold has a three year old son that lives with her mother. I am terrified Pregnant Roommate is going to go into labor in our dorm. Gold says that before she had her son she would wash and fold his clothing needlessly. Sometimes it is weird to see Gold talk about having children.
Pregnant Roommate decides she is going to put a weave in her hair. I straighten my own hair at the sink and we enjoy our girl time. We gossip, laugh and just take a moment to appreciate each other's company. I go and ask staff for a cup so I can drink a glass of water. Staff says there aren't any.
"Can't you get one from the kitchen?"
"He's doing dishes right now."
"Well, I'm sure he's at least finished one cup by now," I say.
"It doesn't look like it," Staff says squinting at the camera, as if he can see what's done on that tiny screen.
"I guarantee he's done at least one cup. I can go down and get one."
He finally begrudgingly goes down to the kitchen and returns with a stack of cups.
When I return to my pregnant roommate I say, "I should just run this place."
"Hell yeah," she says.
One of the guys I hardly know says, "Yeah, you'd kick all the annoying people out."
"Nerdboy would be the first to go," I say.
"Zed." says the boy.
"Who is Zed?"
The boy with long hair that always wears a trench coat and combat boots walks in and says, "How did I become a topic of conversation?"
"We're talking about what would happen if I ruled shelter." I say.
"Oh, I'd be out in a heartbeat," Zed says.
"Yes, you would." I agree.
"Way to not bullshit M." Pregnant Roommate laughs.
"They should just make me president. Solve all the world's problems." I say.
"Girl, you're getting some big dreams tonight. You need to go to bed."
"Yeah you're probably right."
I shuffle off to bed where I sleep and dream of crochet.
--mm
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