Day Eighty-Four

   ****NAMES CHANGED TO PROTECT PORTLAND'S STREET KIDS****

I get up early in the morning to go with Pregnant Lady to her ultrasound. I've never seen a baby in an ultrasound like that before so I'm excited. "You know I really haven't known you that long, but I feel like you're my best friend," Baby Mama tells me. It takes two buses to get to the hospital but once we get into the hospital it's fast.

The ultrasound is projected onto a TV screen attached to the wall across from the hospital bed my pregnant friend lays on. The baby is sleeping and when the tech tries to wake him up he makes faces at her. It looks like he is saying bitch get out of my house I'm sleeping. She snaps pictures of him making faces at us and even gets one with his mouth open. I can't pull my eyes off the screen. It's amazing. He looks so much like his mother it's ridiculous. She plays his heart beat for us. I don't want it to end, I can't tear my eyes away. I've never seen anything like this. I make the tech give me my own copy of my favorite pictures.

When the goop is cleaned off her belly we meet with her doctor. She is at high risk for a still born because of her diabetes. Her sugars are terrible because she is eating things with hidden sugar in it. She says she needs to eat meals at the same time every day. When I explain that this could easily be achieved by going to the day programs to eat the doctor says, "Listen to your friend, she seems like she has a wealth of information."

She tells us she is looking for a sixteen year old guy who recently ran away from his mother. She says he was living with her but went back to his mother and has since gone missing. I tell her if he's on the streets it's just a matter of time before he shows up at #1 or #2. She shows me a picture and tells me to look out for him and tell him the doctor lady is looking for him. I tell her I will.

They give us a pamphlet of information on how to eat right with diabetes. On the bus and max I read these to Baby Mama and make her commit to doing the diet with me. We go to the mall where I show her a website I used to use when I was trying to lose weight to track food. I tell her I'll do the diet with her because I need to lose weight anyways and I'll go to Savior Man's house to cook us healthier meals. I tell her I'll be her mom and get her a lunch box and pack her meals for her.

The fact that she might have a still born doesn't only scare her, it worries me too. I don't want that to happen, it would be awful. I'm attached to this baby now. Based off the ultrasound he is cute and precious and a natural born shit talker. If I have to shovel veggies down her throat I'm going to make sure this baby lives.

We meet up with her boyfriend for awhile. She's going to her dad's house for the weekend. We get on the max so I can go downtown and they can catch the bus to his house. The max shakes and lurches to sudden stops multiple times. The worst time is when we are trying to pass through Rose Quarter. It lurches to a stop so violent I, half asleep, fall off my chair and onto the floor. Then the doors refuse to open.

I start screaming to be let off the bus. We frantically press the emergency buttons that help you communicate with the bus driver but to no avail, there is no answer. The longer this goes on the more people panic. "Let me off this fucking train," I yell, "This is some serial killer shit."
"Don't you mean terrorist?" Baby Mama asks me.
"No, serial killer," I insist, "This is a fucking Saw movie. Razor blades are about to drop out of the ceiling."

She laughs at me but people are really panicking. Several ask if we hit someone or what is going on. We bang on the doors trying to get out and more than once consider the emergency door release. I try to get her boyfriend to pull it but he won't and I'm afraid to pull it. I don't want to get arrested for using an emergency exit when there is no fire.

The door finally opens and 75% of the passengers run off the train. While the 25% left chug along across to downtown the rest of us wait for the next train. Baby Mama and her boyfriend catch a bus to Vancouver and I tell her I'm going to be calling her over the weekend to see what she's eating. She thinks I'm joking but I'm not.

I go to #1 where I curl up outside to try and sleep. Houdini is there and tells me Kitten Lady claims she was robbed once again in the middle of the night. I tell him I'm running out of sympathy for all of this as it is her choice not to take care of herself. I feel bad because I am starting to doubt that things are really happening to her the way she says it is. I just don't understand how these things keep happening to her and what she is doing that is causing it. She's my friend so I'm supposed to trust her that she is telling the truth but honesty isn't always her strong suit.

I sleep on the bench but when it's time for dinner seven different people ask me if I want to eat. I finally give up and drag myself to sleep outside the court yard because you get woken up less often there. I am really exhausted from all the work on the baby shower and getting up early for the ultrasound. I sleep until 7pm. When I wake up I see Kitten Lady a few feet away with Sally and her boyfriend. I sleepily join them and KL starts telling me all about getting robbed. I will myself not to roll my eyes. Then I realize she had some of my favorite clothes on her so they must be gone too. She gets mad at me when I ask about them saying, "My stuff got robbed too. It's not my fault."

I don't say anything but I am irritated. I really think I need to stop loaning her stuff because she's not responsible with anything. Both Houdini and I are becoming more and more frustrated about this.

In shelter I have the dorm to myself so I plug in my laptop and set it in one of my drawers attached to my bunk to play Tangled. I'm asleep before the narrator even comes close to telling the introduction of the story.

--mm