Day One

*****NAMES CHANGED TO PROTECT PORTLAND'S STREET KIDS*****

My life is so intense right now even thinking about it makes my head hurt. Last night was my first night in the shelter. I got there at about 11pm (the cut off time to get in) because I was with a friend, taking a shower and all that at her place. They didn't give me sheets or a pillow so I ended up using my blankets as sheets and wrapping my stuffed elephant in a hooded sweatshirt for a pillow. Shortly after I arrived they had to call an ambulance because someone was convinced that her wallet was stolen by witchcraft. Then at 5am they woke me up because Spencer (my beloved cat) broke out of his carrier. Woops.

Then this morning they tell me that they screwed up and overbooked on service animals. Even though this was their mistake it means I get thrown out of the shelter. They become irate when I started having a panic attack telling me I needed to cry quieter. (No joke). I am  frantically calling numbers that might help me find a place to sleep. I pretty much run to the youth shelter program before they close at 2pm, making it just barely in the nick of time.

The youth day program is a completely different planet than the women's shelter. There are kids everywhere, pool tables, lockers; pretty much looks like a poor college rec center. They have meals too (Women's shelter does not). They keep asking me if I am hungry but I shake my head. Food is the last thing on my mind, plus I bought pop tarts for my meals with food stamps.

The intake person at the youth shelter is much kinder and lets me use her cell phone (mine was dying) to call friends and try to make arrangements for Spencer. No such luck. She does my intake just in case I am able to find a place for him before beds open at 8:45.

I go back to the women's shelter and attempt to charge my phone. They will only let me use one specific outlet but it's broken. The staff lady starts yelling at me, saying that I wasn't supposed to be charging my phone anyways. I break down crying because it is just too much. I leave to try and find a place I can charge my phone at for free without being yelled at. I hop on the max and go to the train station to use their wifi and outlets.

I am able to get a hold of one of my friends who says that he could take Spencer for the night to buy me time. Spencer and I jump on the max and meet him at our usual spot off the max. Spencer is THRILLED to see his "Uncle".

I go back to the train station to try to charge my phone and use wifi again. I miss the stop on the max because I fall asleep and don't wake up until a few stops later. I backtrack to the station where I plug everything in; I attempt to do job applications but once again fall asleep. An hour or so later a security guard comes by and asks me if I was waiting for anyone.

"Waiting for the train from Tacoma," I mumble messing with my phone to avoid eye contact. The train from Seattle comes at least a few times a day so I figured it is a safeish bet. Don't know if he bought it but I wasn't arrested.

I go back to the women's shelter to grab my duffel bag and go Starbucks, waiting for it to be time for the youth shelter to open. I will be sleeping in there even though I'm already established at salvation army simply because the people were much more compassionate and seeing as their program is for youth they'll probably be a better fit. Not sure what happens after tomorrow as my friend only agreed to take Spencer for tonight.

I'm exhausted. For the first time ever I actually LOOK homeless with bags under my eyes, lack of makeup and crazy hair from running around. I don't know what's going to happen but at this point I don't really care about the future. All I can think about is a hot shower and a bed.

I am so thankful for my friends though. They help reassure me that I did the right thing coming back here rather than trying to make it work in Alabama. One friend picked me up from the airport, gave me a place to stay my first night here, and is holding my big suit case for me. The other is keeping Spencer safe for me until I can find a solution. My friends are wonderful people.

It's ten minutes until Starbucks closes so I need to look up the directions to the youth night shelter and get off, which is sad because this gay barista is ranting about the awesomeness of Adele and it's kind of adorable. Wish me luck. Tomorrow is another day.

--mm