Monday, June 11, 2012

Day Ten

****NAMES CHANGED TO PROTECT PORTLAND'S STREET KIDS***** 

Between asthma issues and sleeping pill issues I got no sleep last night. So yesterday's details are going to be posted a little late. I'm just so fucking tired.

Seeing a doctor for my head today though.

---
So, seeing the doctor for my head didn't pan out. Turns out they won't treat head injuries at all and immediately refer you to OHSU. Goody. I hate the OHSU emergency room. I had to go there after my surgery when my pain meds didn't work. They were less than pleasant. So, tomorrow I shall call my primary care and try to get in there.

Jesus disappeared on me at OI. He went up to the studios above the day services to see one of his friends in transitional housing. I wasn't aware of this and when multiple texts went unanswered I walked to Hell to see if he was there. He wasn't. I went back up to OI and watched Ducktales alone sending him a text message saying "I'm slightly worried about you."

He came down at 8pm and picked up his stuff. He had turned his phone in to the front desk for collateral. Not sure why they needed that to visit someone in the trans housing but okay. He left again saying he'd come to shelter later.

Not sure what to do with myself alone I went to Safeway and bought cookie dough. Not having anything better to do I walked to the fountain. Ginger, his girlfriend, Ariel, and a couple of other kids were there. Ginger and I are not too fond of each other right now. He is incredibly self righteous which is something I have no tolerance for. At lunch I called him out on it which got his panties in a twist. I went and sat on the other side of the fountain and offered Ariel some cookie dough.

Jesus came into shelter a little after nine. He was massaging my aching neck when Drama Girl came in sobbing. I watched as her hand shook while she signed in. I nudged Jesus but he shrugged. Just another day in the looney bin. I thought maybe I should pull Drama Girl into the dorm and  calm her down but I was tired and my head hurt and even I am running out of compassion for this. I stayed on the floor, figuring it was more important to treat my aching neck.

I regretted this the moment Dreadlocks burst into the shelter screaming, "Where is that bitch? She made me lose my check!" Drama Girl started bawling even harder. Staff rushed to try and get Dreadlocks to leave so they could separate the two. I waited a bit hoping things might quiet down then went to find Drama Girl. She was sobbing in the red chair by herself.

"Do you want to be alone or do you want me to sit with you?" I asked her from the doorway.
"Please don't leave me alone." She cried.

I sat in the chair next to her and grabbed her hand. There was a puddle of puke at her feet. Before I could even attempt to distract her she started on a rant, "It's all my fault. It's all my fault. He was sleeping with this bitch so I called him a nigger and smacked him in the head." Looking back now I should have been more surprised by the use of the n-word. It used to shock me when people used that word but not anymore I guess. "My baby is a bastard," she wailed.  She started gagging so another kid ran to get water for her. I got her to take little sips and eventually her breathing became slightly less like hyperventilation. 

Just when I thought I might be able to calm her and get her into with a few hours of my night to spare Dreadlocks came back onto the scene. "Give me my check bitch." he demanded.
"I don't have it." She said, though later she pulled it out of her purse like magic.

August flew into the room to kick Dreadlocks back onto the street. This became difficult not because Dreadlocks wouldn't leave but because Drama Girl would not let him. She clung to him like a lost child begging him, "Please don't fuck that bitch. Please I'm sorry. Please don't leave."
"He has to leave." August reinstated.
"No. Don't leave. Let me go with you."
"Let him go," August said, "Dreadlocks, you need to leave."
Dread locks looked at her, "It's always me." he said, "You guys sit there and you watch her hit me but you just watch and kick me out while she beats me."
"He's right." Drama Girl was bawling, "You're right. You're right."

I agreed with him too even though I knew it wouldn't help to say so at that moment. I still can't help but think that maybe if staff would have stepped in sooner when they saw her hit him things would have never gotten to this point. Men can be victims of domestic violence too. Regardless, I can only help one person tonight and Dreadlocks doesn't need my help. She does.

I focus on her, with the hope that this is the last fight and this horrible relationship will finally be over. August and I have her almost dislodged from Dreadlocks when Bald Staff Man comes in and kicks me out of the hallway and shuts the door behind me. Jesus comes and hugs me. "God damn." I say, "It might actually be over."

When staff reopens the door they are both gone.

"I know it's none of my business," I say to August, "I'm only asking because she said she doesn't want to be alone. Did Drama Girl leave?"
"She's gone." August says.
"Shit."

Jesus and I sit on the stairs. He takes my pulse again which has sky rocketed in the past twenty minutes.
"I'm worried about her." I say, "She's a cutter you know."
"No, I didn't know." Jesus says, "How do you know?"
"I saw the cuts on her arm today."
"Well, you can't do anything right now. They'll be fine."
"I know, I just worry." I say.

Jesus and I start messing around. Nerd Boy has been stalking us and while I hate to sound cruel I can't stand him. Nobody likes him because he is a leech and needy as hell. If you looked up Nerd in the dictionary there would probably be a picture of him. He has the lanky body, glasses, acne, and even the squeaky voice. He never stops talking either and most of what he says is nonsense.

On top of that he makes outlandish requests from staff. He had August search his room to locate where the smell of body odor was coming from. She found some dirty socks but he came back an hour later to complain the smell was still there. I really wanted to not so nicely explain that what he was smelling was the pleasant odor of homeless kids. He complained that they only had donated briefs not boxers for him. He told August where she could buy some for a few dollars. "Is that right?" she mumbled and walked away.  When they didn't have the movie he wanted to watch he said, "You know there's a Redbox across the street."

What does he think this is? The Hilton?

Jesus and I are the only ones not mean enough to get rid of him. He tries to butt in on our jokes but it doesn't quite work out well for him. For the most part we ignore him. We try to kindly hint him to leave us alone but of course that goes right over his head. So we begrudgingly tolerate him. I try to feel bad and have compassion for him but his narcissism makes it hard.

He tries to touch me and mess with me but only Jesus can get away with that. I explain that if he continues on with his nonsense I will not hesitate to throw him down the stairs. This loses him for a little bit. Jesus and I go back to our own nonsense.

"You don't look like your name." I tell him.
"Oh? What name do you think I should have?" he asks.
"I don't know. Something with a 'T' like Travis or TJ."
"Funny you should say that," he says and pulls out his ID. His name is in fact Travis.
"I knew it." I say.
"What made you guess Travis?"
I shrug, "Just thought you looked like one."

We start wrestling and he squeezes my wrists a little too hard, "Careful, careful." I say, "I have carpal tunnel."
"I know," he says loosening his grip.
"No you don't; I've never told you about my carpal tunnel before."
"I noticed you don't have full extension of your wrists."
"Weird. What else have you been noticing?" I ask.
"Well, don't be offended but I always plan out how I'm going to kill someone when I first meet them should they prove to be untrustworthy."
I start laughing hysterically.
"You're not mad?" he asks quizzically.
Nerd Boy is back and laughing too, not realizing Jesus is serious about this.
I shake my head, trying to stop laughing, "No, I'm not mad. I think it's funny. How were you going to kill me?"
"I'm not going to kill you anymore," he said, "You're trustworthy."
"I know but I just want to know."
"Are you sure? It's pretty gruesome."
I nod, still snickering.
"Well you were sitting down at the time so I would have kicked you in the knee cap and then crushed your neck."
Nerd Boy is still laughing that nerdy laugh of his.
"How would you kill Nerd Boy right now?" I ask.
"I would kick his elbow then kick out a leg and push him down the stairs so he can't stop himself from falling."

I can't stop laughing. Only I would become friends with someone who had detailed plans on how to kill me should the need arise. Yet, I think those are the best friends to have. Especially when you're living the street life.

--mm


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