****NAMES CHANGED TO PROTECT PORTLAND'S STREET KIDS*****
For the first time in a long time I sleep hard. So hard I don't hear any of the wake up calls and Vampire Girl shakes me awake before I get a BLA. Breakfast has long since been put away. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem but today is Saturday which means nothing opens until 1pm. At 1pm Nafy will open and serve breakfast but their food is not usually good and they don't always have oatmeal.
Thus, I meet up with Crochet Buddy and we head to Whole Foods. I'm feeling nauseated but I don't think much about it since I've been feel sick for days. I've been blaming it on stress, which considering the circumstances isn't a bad guess. We get a personalized size pie and whipped cream for breakfast. We dig in and trade a flash drive back so I can steal music off of his computer while we have breakfast.
1pm rolls around and my stomach is still bothering me. Neither of us are hungry so instead of going to Nafy we catch a bus to Walmart to get yarn. As we are rolling along on the bus I feel my stomach getting more and more sick. I don't do much riding in cars or buses or trains anymore. Usually I only go as far as my feet can carry me. Motion sickness isn't that weird considering I can't remember the last time I rode any bus.
We get to Walmart and I immediately grab Tums which I start devouring the minute I have the in my hand. We pick out $15 worth of yarn. Then I get the brilliant idea to gauge my ears. I don't want big gauges just little pink ones. (In high school I had size 8 gauges for awhile). They don't have any pink ones so I grab some zebra stripes size 10. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
As I'm trying to put the gauges in I realize my ear piercing has completely closed. I force a yarn needle through the hole to get it back in then try to shove the gauge through. I end up dropping the gauge and spend ten minutes cleaning out the floor underneath the mirror I was using before I realize that the gauge had rolled in the completely opposite direction. It's okay though, I just did Walmart a favor as there were several years' worth dust bunnies underneath that mirror.
We try to get the hole open with crochet hooks and various other idiotic things that sounded like good ideas at the time. We drop the gauge again elsewhere and I slide on my belly on the floor looking for it. Crochet Buddy grimaces at how nasty it is to be squirming around a Walmart floor but we are both laughing. The gauge is a lost cause so not one to give up easily I buy new ones. I can't get them through and eventually I realize this is a lost cause and dumb idea; one I should probably let go of.
I'm not feeling so bad when we get on the bus but for some reason the bus ride sends my stomach into a panic. I tell Crochet Buddy we should go straight to Whole Foods because I am going to vomit. I eat Tums and animal crackers but nothing is settling the stomach. I run straight to the Whole Foods bathroom when we get off the bus. I'll spare you the gruesome details but I was in the bathroom for probably about 20 minutes being very sick.
When I leave the bathroom people glare at me as a huge line has formed behind me. I'm shaking so bad my legs can barely hold my weight. I ask Crochet Buddy for Ginger Ale as I don't think I can even stand in line to check out. One sip and I know I'm dead meat. I try to go back into the bathroom but the line is still long. I turn around and a gag doubles me over as I try to get back to the table. I can't find anywhere to puke. The trash cans are all those fancy ones that separate everything for recycling and compost so I'm not sure if I want to puke in those. Gagging I make my way outside.
Outside I spit vomit as far away from myself as I can. I do not want to get it on me as I have no change of clothes. I crumble to my knees and vomit rocking on my heels. I'm sweating and shaking. I'm too weak to even try to get up. I'm leaning on my arms exhausted and disgusted.
People walk past and stare but no one offers help or asks if I'm okay. They just walk on past and leave the small girl puking alone. I feel like a dog puking outside like that while people turn their noses up at me. I don't feel even remotely human. I don't know what to do. As I've already made clear there is no rest for the homeless. Not even while you're sick.
The chunks I blew outside of Whole Foods.
Crochet Buddy and I make our way to Nafy. It's not far but it's quite possibly the longest walk of my life. I end up doubled over more than once or twice. Some guy yells out the window of a car if I'm okay but keeps driving. I dry heave. When we finally make it to Nafy I barely choke out to staff that I'm sick. They tell me to go lay on the couch.
I drag myself to the couch where I see Kitten Lady. I tell her to scoot over, lay in her lap and take the kitten from her. I cuddle with the baby and Kitten Lady rubs my head. "You're so cold." she says. I feel hot and sweaty. Staff brings me a puke bucket and tells me I can stay until 8pm even though they close at 6. Kitten Lady puts a bag under my head when she has to go.
I call Spock and whine that I need mothering. She yells at me to go to the doctor, "You don't just get sick. The entire time that I've known you, you've never just had a virus. You get a cough you get bronchitis. You throw up for days. You should have gone to the doctor when you noticed you were nauseated. You aren't taking care of yourself! You know better your body is the biggest drama queen I know."
I mumble responses, promise to go to clinic on Sunday. I'm miserable. The phone dies and I lay there watching zombies on my computer until 8pm. I make my way to shelter with Spock on the phone. She asks if she did okay mothering, "My mom usually yells at me when I'm sick."
"You did very good mothering." I say.
I was told I can go up when staff arrives so I watch for them. No sign of Kitten Lady or Crochet Buddy. I see August go in and wait a little longer. I don't want to go up early if Bitch Lady is working. I walk around the block then decide I'm too tired for this shit. I press the buzzer and staff lets me up to the red chairs. They let me sign in at 8:35ish. They move me into a bottom bunk in case I have to throw up in the night. I shower. I hang out and watch Austin Powers until about 10pmish.
Emo Kid is back around unfortunately and he keeps shoving chocolate in my face. Finally, I start screaming at him, "I"m throwing up you dumbass the last thing I want is chocolate." He calls me a bitch but then finally leaves me alone.
The only thing in my stomach when I go to bed is a sleeping pill and some tea.
--mm
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