Day Eleven

****NAMES CHANGED TO PROTECT PORTLAND'S STREET KIDS*****

I worried about Drama Girl when I didn't see her at breakfast. I asked her friend if she had heard from her at all. She shrugged and said, "They'll be back together sometime today, just wait. You haven't been here long enough to know the cycle but this is what they do."

I wasn't quite convinced but I saw them both briefly when Dreadlocks handed her back the roses he had bought for her earlier this week. She held them confused, not quite sure what to do with them.

"There's a trashcan right there." a staff member said. I didn't have time to see if she threw them away.

I got a doctor's appointment at my primary care provider's office to see about my poor head. My appointment was short lived though. I told her my head hurt and I was confused and she immediately sent me to the OHSU emergency room. Oh how I hate that emergency room. It was really my only option though as it was close enough to downtown that it wouldn't be hard to get to and I know it well from seeing experts for my exploding ovary of doom.

I reluctantly made my way to the OHSU hospital. I was surprised to be taken back almost right away. They put me in the pediatrics unit which was fine with me because I appreciated the colorful animal paintings on the walls. I changed into a gown and curled up with a blanket on the bed. I couldn't figure out how to lean the bed all the way back but I was still more comfortable than I've been in weeks. I couldn't believe how soft and squishy the pillow was. I hugged it close to me amazed by this incredible invention called the pillow. Even though I was on a child sized bed I took up less than a third of it.

Some lady came in and before saying anything else she asked me, "Where's your mom?"
I was dumbstruck. It took a moment to register what she was even asking.
"Uh, I live on my own." I finally mumbled.
"Oh." she said, "You look fourteen or fifteen."
"I'm twenty-one."
"Oh, well you'll be thankful for that when you're older."

People always tell me that and I get more and more pissed off every time they do. People don't realize how shitty it is to look so young. I get treated like a kid. I once found out that if I took my older roommate with me to appointments I was treated with much more respect than I was when I was alone. It's ridiculous. It's hard when everyone is always looking down on you, literally.

Jesus said that when she said that I should have pushed out my chest and said, "These look fourteen to you?" Too bad I was in a hospital gown.

My actual doctor made up for it though. I was still curled up when he walked in. I immediately sat up which made my head spin. He was GORGEOUS. He had light brown hair that curled around his face and matched his eyes. He didn't think it was necessary for my doctor to send me to the emergency room as I was walking and sleeping with minimal problems. He did a neurological exam which I passed. This means that I didn't get any permanent brain damage. I have a stage one concussion which means I should be resting and taking Tylenol around the clock. Except for rest doesn't really happen when you're homeless.

He gave me some anti-nausea medications and an Ibuprofen and sent me home. I was okay with this. My paperwork would prove my point: Pot Head is an idiot and Bitch Lady should be fired. Word. Registration lady came in, telling me my OHP expired on May 31.
"WHAT?" I about jumped off the bed, "No it didn't. No way."

She handed me the paperwork to apply for financial aid. All I could think was fuck fuck fuck. I am becoming a very expensive patient for OHSU. I then did something I am not proud of, in fact still feel guilty for it though I do not regret it. I took the hospital pillow and shoved it in my backpack then fled out of the hospital. I have never stolen anything in my life but I figured if I was going to be spending so much just to see a cute ass doctor I better get something out of it. I imagine when they went into the room to find the pillow missing they were more confused than anything else. Only a homeless kid would be so desperate to steal a pillow.

Now, we aren't allowed to have pillows in the shelter. Some stupid rule about lice. I met up with Jesus at Hell as we intended to hide the pillow but it was swarming with cops. Instead we (legally) sat on the benches eating ice cream and yogurt until shelter opened.

I was hoping beyond hope that it would be a quiet night in shelter. The shelter director was there so I pulled her aside to tell her what had happened with Bitch Lady and Pot Head. She copied the note from the doctor explaining my Ibuprofen dosage and concussion. I could hear Jesus yelling for me out the door but ignored it.

When I came out Gang Banger told Director Lady he wanted to talk to her too. I went to see what Jesus wanted and found he had gotten a BLA. Emo Kid had cut open a glow stick and swung it around the dorm getting glow juice and glass in Jesus' eye. Jesus grabbed the glow stick from Emo Kid and was caught  glow-handed. 3 days out for it.

I tried to think of a quick solution. There was no way I was letting him go out alone. However, my head was killing me and it would be unwise to go out to the street with the pain and dizziness I was feeling. In the end, Ariel went with him as well as Emo Kid and Pot Head. Thinking he would be with a group I resigned to the fate that staff had handed us. We hugged and he left being ushered out by Nazi Man. I figured at least one good thing could come out of the situation and went to bed early in hopes of rest.

--mm