Sunday, June 10, 2012

Day Nine

****NAMES CHANGED TO PROTECT PORTLAND'S STREET KIDS*****

So, can someone please explain to me why there was an incident report about me asking for my meds but not for the kids kicking me in the head? Because, I don't get it. I'm going to see the doctor in the clinic tonight. It opens at 6pm. It hurts so fucking bad. I couldn't stay in day services yesterday since it was too loud so I left Jesus and went to the library to hide in our super secret spot under the stairs but some other street kids beat me to it. I really didn't know how I was going to make it to Hell in one piece as each little movement hurt. Jesus had asked if I could get there by myself and I had said I was fine. I am such a liar. For an hour or two I was convinced I was in California.

Luckily, my friend who is taking care of Spencer called me right as I was about to walk out to try and sleep at Hell. We decided to meet at Gateway so I could visit Spencer and rifle through my belongings to find my pain meds. I have really, really wonderful friends. When we met at Gateway I couldn't find his car. I couldn't even remember what it looked like.

"Where's Spencer?" I demanded the moment we were in the front door.
"He's in my room." It seemed like an eternity before Savior Guy opened his bedroom door.
"Spencer!" I shrieked.

Spencer jumped up on his two back paws on the computer chair he was laying on. He gave me kisses as I held him tightly. "I have missed you so much." I kept saying.

"Want to get high with us?" Savior Guy asked as his roommate spun in the free computer chair.
"Duh, I want to get high with you," I said, "I have a fucking concussion that's the best time to get high."

Before I continue on, I would like to say in my own defense I spent three months smoking southern pot where medicinal is illegal. In Portland not only is it legal just about everyone knows where to score medicinal pot if they have a card or not. Medicinal is a million times more potent than not. I forgot to account for this and smoked the same amount I would of had it been southern pot. I was toast.

I got a text from Jesus as I had freaked him out when he found I wasn't in Hell or the library. Oops.

Savior Guy drove me all the way to Llyod center rather than just Gateway where we usually meet. This saved me about an hour. I met up with Jesus and Vampire Girl. Vampire Girl was talking a million miles a minute about things I couldn't even follow. She has ADHD and it shows. Her life story and ranting takes a toll on me anytime I hang out with her. On top of that she's bipolar so her mind moves faster than the speed of light and her moods change just as fast.

I took my pulse at Safeway since I still wasn't feeling up to par after the panic attack episode. My pulse was a whopping 115. That's a panic attack level pulse. Not good. Not good at all.

Dinner at shelter was mystery beans and suspicious potatoes. I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE potatoes. I could eat them all day with oatmeal. I could not even stomach stomach these potato spuds gone horribly wrong and I was high as a kite! They were like really runny nasty grits.

Yuck.

I forced myself to eat the salty beans washing them down with juice and weird ass potato grits. I needed food that wasn't the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Snicker bars we got at Safeway. The rest of my night is kind of blurry as I was on pot and Percocet. The kids thought it was hilarious that for once I was the one who wasn't sober.

At some point we all ended up sitting in the hallway creating a massive fire hazard. If I remember everything correctly it was: Jesus, Rocky, Vampire Girl, Ariel, Gang Banger Dude, Nerd Guy, Little Timmy, Emo Kid, Vampire Girl, and me. So, more or less everybody. Jesus and I were sitting facing each other with his toes under my thighs and vice versa.

"When are you going to grow a pair of balls and ask her out?" Gang Banger Guy asked Jesus.
"We're not dating," we said in unison.
"Yes, you are." Someone else insisted.
"Yeah he has his arm around you."
"He's keeping me warm." I said
"That girl is in denial."
"Dude, It's not your guys' business so why don't you guys just leave it alone and let it be what it is?" Ariel butted in.
"I like her!" I said, pounding her fist.

Jesus and I were being ridiculously silly. He wiggled his toes under my thighs and I started giggling like mad. Turns out, I have a ticklish butt. Jesus found this funny and has taken to calling me Tickle Butt. We did things with his giant glow stick that we knew were going to be twisted in horrible ways  but we didn't care. We were giggling idiots.

"Am I going to remember all of this tomorrow?" I asked him.
"Probably not." He said.
"Do I want to?"
He shook his head.

Emo Kid called me fat, which I forgot this morning. I wish I would have remembered. I let that bitch use my eyeliner and he called me fat! Plus, he looked so much worse with the tear lines he drew and the weird ass shit he circled around his mouth. Weirdo.

My head still hurts but last night was a much better night. I got to see Spencer, a friend, and once I wasn't in so much pain I felt much more tolerant. The plan for tonight is for me to see a doctor at the clinic for my head. (I am concerned about some of the jumbledness I have been experiencing). Then, Ariel, Jesus, maybe another kid or two, and me will go buy ice cream sundae fixings and go down to Hell to watch Disney movies and eat sundaes.

Which is good because my grandma called for the first time since I've been in shelter. I had to convince her that this is a wonderful and good situation for me as she sounded so worried. I feel horrible. I didn't tell her about the concussion or anything of that nature. You know, I don't want people to worry.

Laundry calls.

--mm


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