Day Fifteen

    ****NAMES CHANGED TO PROTECT PORTLAND'S STREET KIDS***** 

I'm two days behind and very, very tired. Not to mention I need to pee. So I'm just going to fill you in quickly and make up for lost details later.

On day 15 Jesus was in a mood again and was taking it out on me quite viciously telling me he was sick of me and what not. I decided fine, he could have a piss party by himself so I took the sleeping bag and laid out in the sun at the water front to read. I thought that maybe I could look like any college student soaking up some rays while studying. I asked Jesus if he was mad I hadn't stayed out with him the night before but he said he wasn't and I was more than willing to go with him since Bitch Lady was working.

I fell asleep on the grass, waking up just in time to go to lunch. I found Jesus looking for me by the max stop but I didn't make any extra effort to be in his company. He wanted to be in mine though so I let go of his bullying earlier and tolerated his company. At lunch I received the most wonderful care package from my dear friend Sleepy. I tore it open and Korean candy showered down on me. Along with the candy he sent a visa giftcard and a flash drive. To my dismay Jesus and Dreadlocks helped themselves to the candy. I hate to admit it but I wanted to be selfish and keep the candies to myself as they are specially sent from my friend. But, I know not everyone is lucky enough to receive care packages so I pushed my greediness aside and let them partake in Korean candy wonders. Thankfully, the candy that I found to be the most wonderful is coffee flavored and Jesus has no love for coffee.

I ran to Powells to sit and see what was stored on the glorious flash drive. Being Asian my friend had filled the flash drive with television shows and the old school Sega and Gameboy games. This made me squeal with happiness. However, I would need Jesus to open them (I have no knowledge of computers) and he had run off with a dead cell phone somewhere.

I decided instead to seek out the comforts of Powells. My friend and I used to have what we called "Safe Places," places where we could go when we were plagued with panic attacks and flashbacks. They were places that made us feel calm and secure. Powells is my safe place.  Books are my security. I scanned the aisles for almost an hour soaking up the smell of books, old and new. I decided to let myself indulge in a Steinbeck paper back despite my commitment to stop spending. I lie saying comfort items are a need.

To escape the street life I allowed myself to get lost in Steinbeck until dinner. At dinner I met back up with Jesus and we went from there to Whole Foods to play Sonic the Hedgehog. When it came time to attempt to go to shelter Jesus said he didn't even want to try and wanted to sleep outside instead. I told him I wasn't going to sleep outside for no reason and left him to it.

I knew that I needed to buy weapons with some of the money my friend sent but I was not sure where or what to buy. I was going to ask Gang Banger for assistance but he was off with his girlfriend having what appeared to be the talk so I decided it was best to leave it alone for the night.

Bitch Lady was working again so I busied myself to playing video games on my computer much to the amusement of some of the guys who enjoyed watching me yell at the blue hedgehog and call him a "Stupid fuck face" when he fell on spikes. Once I was fully tired out of Sonic I showered, took my meds, and went to sleep.

--mm