My Wise Brother

My biological brother and I have never been close. We've had our moments but for the most part we don't talk. I think he separates himself from me because he believes his lifestyle of drugs and alcohol is a bad influence on me. He's probably right but he's never seen shelter life. Then again he doesn't even know I'm here. I didn't tell him I'm homeless or that I spent a few months with our estranged father in Alabama. I started ignoring his facebook posts as he's gotten back on drugs so we've stopped talking all together. But once on Thanksgiving day 2009, while he was sober he gave me the best advice I've ever received. It's how I have tried to live my life since then. He told me via text word for word:

The day you realize that's just the way things are is the day our family problems won't bother you anymore. You just have to realize you want to be better than the rest of our family. That's my drive for everything in life these days. It's all about your perspective. A lot of people won't understand the way our shit is but you can never think you have it bad because there's always someone out there that has it way more fucked up than you. I made a choice a long time ago that I'm going to do whatever it takes to not end up like our parents. I made some wrong choices but I wouldn't change it. That's why I want to see you in school because you don't need this bullshit. If you ever need anything you just let me know and I'll come out to you. But don't ever trade school for a job because it ain't worth it. 

I <3 my brother when he's sober. And he is why I remember not to complain or mope about how bad I have it. I have things a lot better than a lot of people. Hearing the stories in shelter I know that for a fact. I have no right to complain. It's why I gave up on Jesus. Thinking you have the worst life in the world will drive you crazy. You have to remember there's always someone you can help, who has it worse.

Never think you have things bad. It doesn't help anything. If you don't like something in your life change it or stop complaining. If you can't change it change something else to make it easier to live with. But, don't complain. Complaining only makes it so people can't stand to be around you and you can't stand to be around yourself.

Why waste time throwing pity parties when you could be outside living?


--mm