Finally Something Good Happens (Day 106)

   ****NAMES CHANGED TO PROTECT PORTLAND'S STREET KIDS****

Sorry I've gotten so behind. The job readiness program has been keeping me very busy. Finally doing something constructive.

So Sunday (Day 106) I went to Whole Foods to spend my time. I briefly contemplated going to church but didn't feel up to it. I just wanted quiet time to myself. This was a very good decision because as it turned out my best friend in the whole universe was online.

You lovely readers have not yet been introduced to my dearest best friend ever so here is our story. We first met when I was in fifth grade (I'm a year older than her) and we were in the same theater program. We didn't speak again until high school when we were on the water polo team. We became pretty decent friends but didn't get closer until my senior year when we both participated in the journalism program.

We became best friends on prom night of that year. Best Friend held a sleep over at her house following prom. She had to help me out of my prom dress because I was so damn poofy. (I should have weighed that dress. Pretty sure  it was at least 10 pounds).

Us girls ended up playing with an Oujia board which I had never done before. I don't know how I made it to eighteen without ever playing with a Oujia board, it seems like such a childhood rite of passage to me now. I don't really know what it is that happened that night but somehow Best Friend and I just bonded in a way we hadn't in all the years we had known each other before. I found I could just be real with her.

I'll admit our friendship is weird. We should not be best friends. Her parents are (somewhat begrudgingly) still married and she is the second oldest of four. Her family is quirky and funny but really tight nit. They are the kind of family all of us other kids were jealous of. Laid back parents who were cool and siblings you can get along with. (At the prom sleep over I realized that I had become friends with Best Friend and her brother both separately in school.)

My best friend doesn't know what it's like to have a completely deranged mother or to be forced to sleep on concrete but she has never judged me for these things and somehow despite how fucked up my life is we still relate. When I lost my first job out here (a nanny job) I went back to my hometown to try and stay with my mother. This lasted all of two days before my mother kicked me out to the street.

My best friend and her mother picked me up off the side of the road and I stayed with her family for three months. I finally found the sister I always wanted growing up. I became dearly attached to her entire family. Her siblings still call me their "other sister" and it's not all that uncommon for me to end up staying at their house even when Nat is off at college.

Christmas morning my grandmother came to pick me up from her house to go to breakfast. I was still upstairs when she arrived. My grandmother mistook my friend for me and planted a wet one on her cheek saying, "I've missed you!" I came flying down the stairs to intervene on my friend's behalf. To this day she still says this was the worst moment of her life. As I'm typing this I'm trying not to laugh.

Nat is now going to school at UCLA and living her dreams. Originally she said she was going to go for biology which I always knew she would drop to pursue a more artistic career. She is now studying acting and directing. I always said I'd be a therapist. Nat always knew I wouldn't have the patience for that and would instead pursue my passion: writing.

I think it's safe to say we know each other better than we know ourselves.

We both like to keep busy so it's hard for us to find time for skype and email and chatting. Sometimes we'll go six or nine months without talking. When we do finally talk again we talk for hours and it's like no time has passed. We finish each others sentences. I threaten to castrate her boyfriend. You know the usual.

So when I actually see her online and we have a chance to chat I get excited. We haven't talked since May or June. We end up talking the ENTIRE day. I don't leave the computer once until dinner time when I have to go get something to eat and take care of business. When I get back online she's still there so we pick right back up. I fill her in on being homeless and everything else. It's not awkward at all. She knows I did it before and can do it again and she does not pity me for it.

During this time I receive a phone call from my maternal aunt. She is currently looking for work and living off of her savings. She tells me that she wants to send me the money I need to get into school despite the fact she has no funds for herself.

To understand how important this is here is a bit of family history for you: my mother stole THOUSANDS of dollars from her family. So much so my aunt says I cannot know the amount until I publish a book. My mother also stole her siblings' inheritance when their father died.

As such my maternal family has NEVER given me money besides on birthdays and Christmas. (I get $40 every year from my grandmother. $20 on my birthday and $20 on Christmas). On top of that until this summer my aunt and I have not had any form of relationship. (This is also due to my mother who told me as a child that my aunt practiced witchcraft. The truth is my aunt caught my father with one of his girlfriends when he and my mother were married.)

"I have to give you a chance to prove you're not your mother." My aunt tells me, as long as I pay her back, she will send me the $735 needed to get into school.

Obviously, Nat and I agree my aunt must be a good witch not a bad witch.

This is a miracle to me. The Flying Spaghetti Monster at his finest. I don't even know what to say. I feel like I have something to prove too. I'm not going to falter on getting this money back to my aunt. I'm going to prove I'm not my mother. I can be trusted.

I go to the clinic to have her check my dry socket and ensure it's healing correctly. I tell her I've been achy more often than not lately. She says she wants to pursue a fibro milja diagnosis. I've been pretty sure I have it for over a year but I haven't gotten the diagnosis.

"But, it looks bad for insurance," I say.
"Hun, you have so many things that look bad on insurance."
I laugh. It's true. She points out that Obama care should be taking effect soon so it won't matter for much longer. If I have the label I'll be able to get regular massages and have other resources open for me. We go over the questionnaire and determine I do in fact meet the qualifications.

I know it sounds like a bad thing to get a diagnosis of a medical disorder like this but it's not. It doesn't change anything. I know my body and I feel the pain. Having it labeled doesn't make it any less painful. It opens me up for other treatment options.

So all in all I think it has been an amazing day. I get to go back to school.What makes this moment all the more special is I get to share it with my Sisterly BFF. I don't know how life can even possibly begin to get better.

But trust me, it does.

--mm

Best friend rocking my princess prom dress!

September 26, 2009. We got to meet the love of my life and
spokesperson for homeless and foster kids. Jimmy Wayne. This was
the first time she had ever seen me cry. It was totally pathetic.

(Figured I could get away with posting pics seeing as they are almost four years old now!)