Drug Deal Gone Wrong

I left my dorm tonight to find some food. I usually go to Safeway but since I'm out of food stamps anyways I decided to see if any of the food carts were open. (It's really hit and miss after 5pm). On my way I saw crime scene tape and several fire trucks, police cars (marked and unmarked), and ambulances in the parking lot of the Unitarian church. Naturally, I was drawn to wanting to know what was going on. I thought maybe it was a car fire but didn't see smoke. I decided to walk past and make sure it wasn't any of the street kids who were hurt.

A bunch of street kids were standing across the street behind a news camera. I ran up to them and asked who was injured. They told me that it was a drug deal that had gone wrong and a police officer had been stabbed. When I saw it was a female on the stretcher being loaded into an ambulance my worries were not calmed. I didn't know where they got their information from. And drug deal? That could easily mean it was Kitten Lady or Houdini. I stereotyped wondering is that really a female cop on the stretcher? (Logically I assumed her male partners wouldn't have let her get stabbed.) I really thought I'd faint.

One of the kids claimed it was his brother, so I guess I figured it was likely he was accurate. He and his brother are street kids but I don't really know them. "But, all of our people are okay right?" I asked.
"No, my brother got tasered in the neck."
Well, he did just stab a cop... I mean, our cops are ridiculous and abusive but I'm not sure if you can argue them using force when you just stabbed them.

I felt a lot better when I ran into Kitten Lady next to the food carts. I hugged her and asked her how she was. She was with Pocohantis and a boy I don't know.  I feel a lot better having seen her and talked to her. Sunday I had seen her briefly in the day program. I had to get to work so I walked away after a meek hello. In the end I felt guilty because friends are more important than work and I had more than enough time so I turned around and walked back. When I got there though, she was in the shower. And I got a week ban for calling Beatles Lady a bitch but that's another story.

She said she's doing okay but she looked away when she said it, as if she didn't have the heart to even try to lie about how she's doing. She's really thin. She had bits of toothpaste on her face drying out zits. I wanted to tell her about the black head I popped that brought out a record amount of pus and about how worried I've been and how I want to help her even though I can't. There was a lot I wanted to say. There wasn't time though. The boy said something crude and she cut him off saying, "Don't say that to her. She's my good, good, innocent friend."

She got a call on her cell phone and told me, "Go away for this." She gave me her number and walked away, not wanting me to get caught up in her drug deal or whatever she was doing. I watched her as I walked in the opposite direction and sent her a message warning about the stabbing and drug deal gone wrong, asking her to be safe.

She told me tonight that Houdini got arrested. Nerboy called the cops on him which makes no sense. Houdini was the only one that was ever nice to Nerdboy. Because he was technically on the run he (according to Kitten Lady) will be getting a one year sentence. The really shitty part is he was working, clean, and getting his stuff together to go back home. :( I'm really saddened by this.

It's hard knowing that at any point I may lose people I care about. In the last twenty-four hours thirteen street kids have died, somewhere in this nation. They won't be on the news, like the street kid who just stabbed a police officer. They won't have memorial services. They'll just be gone.

I think out of all the statistics I've researched on homelessness this is the hardest to swallow. Not at first. At first it was just a number. Thirteen homeless kids die a day? Okay. Sure. But, already, in the four months I've been here two people that I know of in our program have died. And Kitten Lady is wavering so close to the edge right now. I don't know those two kids that died. Their deaths impacted me all the same because they brought that statistic to life. Kitten Lady almost overdosed in the bathroom at McDonalds a month or two ago, not long after the first boy died.

I dread the day I walk into the day program and there's a notice posted saying it's someone I know. That it's Kitten Lady. Sometimes, if I really think about it I won't be able to sleep or concentrate. Because I know it's likely to happen. At some point it will be someone I care about. At this rate, one every other month, it will be one of my people.

I guess this could be the case for anyone. You could finish reading this post and get a call from the police saying there's been a bad accident and someone you love is dead. You could go to the doctor tomorrow and  some routine tests could come back not so routine.

I know this. We all know this. It's just that most of us ignore this reality and live our lives blissfully unaware. Streetkids, we daily face the reality that all of this life is temporary. And tomorrow we could wake up and find it gone or worse, lacking the people we care deeply about.

--mm

(A side note: for those of you that remember Gang Banger who I bonded with but disappeared shortly after I arrived? He reappeared today. We didn't really talk just said hi where the stabbing happened. He had been in jail all this time. He looked embarrassed so I didn't press it on talking to him. I was still happy to see him. It's good to know he's okay.)