May Have Found My Limit

Shit around here is getting old. There's just a lot of bullshit I haven't been writing about that's been going down. Mostly because I don't have the time nor the energy to give it any space in my mind but I'm about to burst so now you get the dirty details in an angry rant.

The most concerning issue at hand is Kitten Lady. No one has seen her in about a month. There is not one sighting of her since I last saw her in the food courts. No trace. I accidentally washed and dried my phone so I don't have her phone number anymore. I've been searching for her several times a day but  no sign of her and no one has seen her. I'm not the only one worried, other youth comment when I ask them that something feels wrong. Of course, none of the staff see this as something that is a problem. Only Zelda has commented on the situation saying, "Oh my God. You must be terrified." Everyone else carries the attitude of well she's a user she's going to disappear like that. I think being a user makes her even less likely to go off the radar though. She needs to get drugs somewhere right? She always hated leaving downtown. She wouldn't disappear like this intentionally. I'm going to check under the bridge where her mother sleeps next. And then I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm really freaking out but there's no one willing to help me.

Then there's housing drama. Lots and lots of housing drama. Everyday they call me into their office accusing me of doing xyz. It's silly because I'm never even home to do these things. On Friday I was gone for five hours but they still called me in saying I talked about Ginger clan in my dorm. I WASN'T EVEN HOME! It's gotten so crazy staff are seriously following me around and trying to censor everything I say. When I told one to leave me alone she followed me and yelled at me through my bedroom door. She gave me a night out for refusing to talk to her.

I wrote up an eight page grievance about all this bullshit I've been going through since day one here. I'm going to raise hell tomorrow. Night out my ass. Even though I'm going to raise hell and I'm going to win I'm exhausted and stressed from all this bullshit. I stopped sleeping weeks ago. I have a test Monday I'm pretty sure I'm going to bomb because I haven't been able to concentrate at all. I'm just sick and tired of having to fight so damn hard for things that I shouldn't have to battle for. Like privacy and decency and respect. I'm at my wits end and about to crack from all this pressure.

--mm