A Homeless Thanksgiving

Saying "happy Thanksgiving" around here is like wishing someone a happy root canal. Holidays just aren't a huge deal when you're homeless. In fact they're a huge disappointment. We'd rather ignore them than be fed the Hallmark card bullshit that having a family makes you happier and more superior.

I decided to sign up for a food basket at the college for my dorm. Every year the student government makes food baskets for anyone who wants them. I figured what the hell? It couldn't hurt. When I picked it up on Tuesday they also gave me a $10 gift certificate for a ham or turkey. The items in the food basket besides caned veggies and soup were things like stuffing and marshmallows. So I figured damn, let's just have a Thanksgiving dinner. 

Even though it was last minute I figured we should see ourselves above the idea that not having a family makes you inferior. We  can be celebratory and happy and thankful without a Leave it to Beaver holiday.

Wednesday I got out of school early and came home to try and catch my case manager and/or Bernard. I didn't catch either of them. Bernard was supposed to give me the information on how to get in contact with Houdini so I can visit him in jail. My case manager is just near impossible to meet with lately. I'm exasperated with it.

I then went to try and find Kitten Lady at either day program but she wasn't around. I went to Winco to get the last of the supplies to make Thanksgiving dinner. This will be my first attempt to make the full meal ever. I've never made a ham. I've never made pumpkin pie. Still, I'm going to try.

When I got home I quickly made up my orgasm in your mouth chicken. While it was in the oven I ran by shelter to look for Kitten Lady. Still, no sign of her. No one has seen her in a week. I went back home and finished up dinner.

After dinner was finished just about the entire third floor ambushed Zelda in her office, mostly just for the hell of it. I brought her a chicken breast but apparently she's "mostly vegan". -sigh-. After this there was another round of grocery shopping at Safeway in which much of our groceries were stolen (and a meat thermometer).

After dropping off the groceries my roommate and I went on a hunt for Kitten Lady. We walked around downtown for over an hour but no sign of her. She wasn't at any of her sleeping spots. I'm starting to get really worried.

On Thanksgiving I woke up at about 11:30. Something crazy was going on in the day program that involved a lot of noise. I made a full breakfast feast. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, coffee. It took me until 12:30 which was conveniently the time the lone roommate that stayed home for Thanksgiving woke up. We ate and watched the newest episode of Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition. My little rock star Asia is still in the running! Top five!

After breakfast we went on a hunt to find movies to watch for dinner. We got Dark Shadows, Madagascar Three, and The Lorax from the Red Box rental thing. Then I bought Nation Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and Seven from Every Day Music.

I watched National Lampoon's while I cooked dinner. I have mass nostalgia with that movie. I grew up on it. As we were going in and out we popped our heads in the day program to look for Kitten Lady. Still, no one has seen her. One of the staff in the day program walked me through how to cook a ham. I adore her. She's very motherly to everyone which is unique.

She is the only one out of all of our programs that mothers people the way she does. No one else seems to be parent figurely besides her. And really, if anyone tried to be our parents it wouldn't go well. But Flora, gets away with it. She also breaks up fights by offering youth cigarettes, a practice expressly forbidden in the day program.

We had everything for dinner: candied yams, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole  ham, biscuits, and (homemade) pie. The sweet potatoes need a little work, they overflowed a bit. The green beans were made with cream of chicken soup instead of mushroom because my roommate is highly allergic to mushrooms. Just as well, I don't like them either. Cream of chicken actually worked a lot better I think. What I forgot were the small things: butter in the yams, pepper in the casserole, the little details that don't really mean much but for me as an oober perfectionist it bugged me.

I've never cooked a ham or made a pie before and I've never done such an extensive meal all at once but I refused my roommates' offers for help. I wanted to prove I could do it all. The meal wasn't perfect but I more than proved myself. Pot Head and Moby also came over for dinner. Moby has become our honorary roommate because his pod is empty and he finds it creepy. We've talked about him moving into our dorm so we don't end up with someone crazy if they let more people upstairs.

After dinner we went out and smoked some of Pot Head's ak-47. I've smoked it at least twice now. It makes your lungs feel like they are full of glass. I took one hit tonight and promptly threw up. I felt like I might but I wasn't sure so I hopped up and ran away from the boys. A few feet and I coughed hard and projected vomit onto the ground. I was happy the boys didn't offer me any more weed when I was done. I didn't want anymore but didn't want to be a pussy and turn it down if offered.

We smoke cigarettes in the court yard when we were done. Even though I only had one hit I was flying high. It felt like we were smoking those cigarettes for hours, maybe even days but it was only fifteen minutes. I don't like to smoke cigs after weed so I kept wondering why it was taking the boys so long to finish. Everything was profoundly funny.

Pot Head had to leave to go into shelter. We continued watching movies upstairs. After we finished "The Lorax" (which Pot Head picked to watch first) we watched "Seven". Now, we're watching "Dark Shadows". I'm less than thrilled about this movie choice. I can only watch Johnny Depp and Tim Burton regurgitate the same movie so many times. But roomie wanted to see it so I humor him.

We haven't cut into the pie yet so I don't know how I did on my first pie but I'll be sure to let you know how it goes when we're done with the movies. I intend on taking some ham to Flora to see what she thinks of my first ten pound ham.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody. Nothing better than celebrating the mass genocide of Indians by stuffing your face full of food! (jk)

--mm