A Treasure lost

Saturday March 14 was Gold's birthday. It was also her funeral. She died Monday, March 2. I don't know how. To say I'm devastated is an understatement. Of all the street kids she was doing well. She was off the streets, working, doing everything right. I was saying the other day, you expect street kids to die; by overdose, foul play, suicide, illnesses, accidents, any number of things. You expect this and prepare yourself while they are on the streets; you aren't prepared when they've gotten off. Shock doesn't even begin to describe it.

I found out Thursday that she died. I ran into another street kid on my last break from work. He gave me a hug, pulled me aside, and said, “Did you hear about Gold?”

I said, “She's doing really well.”

He said, “No, she's dead.”

I refused to accept it until I went to the day program where he said he was told. I went to the back offices and buzzed the door. A woman in a business suit opened the door and with the annoyance palpable on her voice said, “Can I help you?”

I stumbled over my words until some variation of Gold and died came out. She gave a curt nod, and told me she would meet me at the day program side of the building. When I buzzed myself in there I saw her sending some other man to tell me yes she was dead, no they had no other information. The man who told me had never even met her.

I've been an absolute wreck. My doctor prescribed me Xanax. My friends have been almost babysitting me. I couldn't make the funeral which has left me overwhelmed with guilt.

Gold was a Treasure. I was so lucky to have her in my life. She was one of the first people to reach out to me when I was first homeless and terrified. When I was with her we laughed a lot. She brought life and excitement to the shelter which is no easy task. I think I was drawn to each other because we had so many similarities. She was a strong, independent woman who could stop and be nurturing too.

My favorite memory of Gold is when we were talking about Baby Mama going into labor in shelter. I said I was terrified of the thought. Gold said, “Naw, I'll be the midwife. I've got some herbs. We're good!” And even the shelter staff laughed.

The best people in the world are the ones who can look upon and live in adversary but still smile and laugh. Who can be facing their own demons and help people face theirs. Gold was one of those people. I don't know how we managed to lose her so soon but trust me she will be missed.